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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24934894">Clarity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW'>IvanW</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Starfleet Academy [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Babies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Love, M/M, Mpreg, Raising children, Romance, Starfleet Academy, Taking Care of Someone, Temporary Homelessness, Very happy ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:54:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>24,766</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24934894</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Title from the song, Clarity by Zedd, Foxes</p><p> </p><p>Spock becomes fascinated with a young cadet who is definitely struggling with what's happening in his life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk/Other(s), James T. Kirk/Spock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Starfleet Academy [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1457392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>557</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>706</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p></p><div class="center">
  <p> </p>
  <p>    <a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kVot9A4Q8d4/XvbWHw-83JI/AAAAAAAADAM/B9sVb46TGFMkClQQcjJPp_CJ9WqyCIKDwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/cadet2.jpg">
      
    </a></p>
  <div class="center"></div>
</div>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock was not the type of individual to rush into any given situation. Anyone who knew him was sure to acknowledge that. He was careful and methodical in all ways.</p><p>He had developed skills and coping mechanisms over the years to ensure his thoughts and behaviors were almost exclusively Vulcan, with only very small examples of being otherwise.</p><p>His defiance in the face of the Vulcan Council being one of those examples.</p><p>Which was why he was in San Francisco attending Starfleet Academy.</p><p>The first time he’d spotted the male cadet with the short shorn sandy blond hair and the striking blue eyes he was leaning over a trashcan throwing up his lunch, presumably.</p><p>There was a Terran expression that went something like he’d looked ‘green around the gills’ and though Spock was not sure of origin of that saying, it applied to the young cadet.</p><p>He’d thought the cadet had likely overindulged in drinking the night prior, a very common occurrence in the areas surrounding the campus.</p><p>Spock had, therefore, dismissed the cadet as not that interesting or relevant.</p><p>The next time Spock noticed him he was sitting in an isolated section of the corner of the Andorian section of the Academy Gardens. He was on a bench in the section, taking up the entire seat, hunched up into himself, knees bent and head resting there. He looked quite upset, as though he’d been crying before, though he no longer was.</p><p>He had looked so distressed that Spock had almost walked up to him to inquire if there was something Spock could do for him. But Spock’s friend, Nyota, had arrived to meet him, and when Spock had turned back to look, the cadet had left.</p><p>Spock didn’t see him for a couple of weeks after that, but the next time Spock did see him, he had just left his apartment building and was making his way toward the campus to attend class.</p><p>The cadet was not dressed in his usual red uniform, but instead wore jeans, a T-shirt, and a windbreaker, though it was not terribly cold.</p><p>He was swaying as he walked and then as Spock watched, he stumbled into the side of a building, nearly fell, and then leaned against the building.</p><p>Spock could not help but approach him though he knew he ought to mind his own business.</p><p>“Good morning,” Spock said. “Do you require assistance?”</p><p>The cadet blinked several times. He was very pale. He looked over at Spock, blue eyes unnaturally wide in his ashen face. “What?”</p><p>“Overindulging in drink can sometimes cause—”</p><p>“I’m not.” He seemed to collect himself and straightened a little though he still leaned against the wall. “I’m not drunk. Or even experiencing the after effects of it.”</p><p>Spock took a moment to take this in. “I see. Then you are experiencing an illness. Perhaps I could escort you to the hospital or arrange for you to make it there.”</p><p>“I’m not…I’m really not sick.” He licked his lips. He met Spock’s gaze and Spock was struck just how stunning his eyes were. “You…you’re Spock, right?”</p><p>“That is correct. Have we met?”</p><p>The cadet smiled a little. “No. Just…I guess everyone knows you.”</p><p>Spock nodded. Being the only Vulcan at the Academy that made sense.</p><p>“And you are?”</p><p>“Kirk. Jim Kirk.”</p><p>“The son of George Kirk?”</p><p>Those blue eyes clouded over a bit but he nodded. “Yep.”</p><p>“You do appear to be ill, Mr. Kirk.”</p><p>“It’s just Jim. Or Kirk, if you have to. And really, Spock, I’m not sick.”</p><p>Spock certainly had no intention of arguing with him if he insisted that he wasn’t, though Spock could clearly see otherwise.</p><p>“Very well. I need to go as I am on my way to a course right now.”</p><p>Jim smiled. “Okay, see you.”</p><p>“And you will be all right?” Spock asked doubtfully.</p><p>“Sure. The dizziness comes and goes.”</p><p>“Good day to you then.”</p><p>And Spock left to make it to his class. Admittedly he spent most of the two-hour class thinking about Jim Kirk. There was something he was missing about Kirk, and Spock could not quite figure out what it was.      </p><p>As he exited the class, Nyota stopped him on the way out.</p><p>“You okay, Spock? You seemed distracted in there.”</p><p>“I retained all relevant information pertaining to the subject.”</p><p>Nyota laughed. “Oh, I am certain of that. Your distracted is better than anyone else’s full attention.”</p><p>“I am…all right.”</p><p>She didn’t press it. She wouldn’t. Instead she said, “Are we still on for breakfast tomorrow?”</p><p>“Yes,” he answered. “I will be there.”</p><p>“Great. See you.”</p><p>On his way home, Spock thought of Jim. This was very much not like himself. Spock rarely gave extra thoughts to strangers, which Jim basically was.</p><p>He tried to force himself out of the reflection, for such thoughts for someone he did not know were not helpful.</p><p>Earlier he’d intended to stop at the bakery near his apartment as they made some Vulcan baked goods that Spock did not have the time or inclination to bake himself. He’d placed his order that morning for pick up when he was returning home.</p><p>As he entered he was in time to see that Jim was at the counter. He was bright red and fumbling with something, and as Spock got nearer he realized that Jim was embarrassed.</p><p>The baker looked annoyed as she glared at him. “Sir, I’m sorry but if you can’t pay for the scone…”</p><p>“I will pay,” Spock spoke up from behind Jim. “You can put it on my tab.”</p><p>Jim turned to stare at Spock, those blue eyes so wide again. “Oh. No. I…”</p><p>“It is nothing.” Spock waved away his objections. He looked at the baker. “You have my order ready?”</p><p>“Thank you,” Jim mumbled, and then without another word, he left the bakery.</p><p>A few minutes later, Spock left with his own goods and realized Jim was waiting outside for him.</p><p>“I’m sorry about that.”</p><p>“As I said before, it is nothing. A small thing.”</p><p>Out came the tongue to trace his chapped lips. “Still. I thought…I thought I had it. It’s just…things are hard right now and I…you know, never mind. It’s nothing to concern you.”</p><p>“You are feeling better?”</p><p>Jim smiled a little. “Yeah. That happens in the morning, mostly.”</p><p>“You really ought to have your illness checked out, Jim.”</p><p>Jim laughed then. It did not have the joy he was used to when Nyota or others laughed. Even the laugh seemed…sorrowful. He could not explain it.</p><p>“I’m not sick, Spock. Really. I’m pregnant.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Who is the other parent?” Spock blurted out before he could stop his mouth from doing so. At Jim’s shuttered look, Spock quickly backtracked. “I apologize. That was indelicate.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I’m still really just processing the whole thing. It was a bit of a shock.” Jim looked down at the bag with his scone. He shook his head. Then his eyes met Spock’s. “I…uh. I couldn’t go to class today.”</p>
<p>It was a bit of a non-sequitur, but Spock went with it. </p>
<p>“Why is that?”</p>
<p>“My cadet’s uniform was a bit tight.” Jim laughed, but he turned red like he was embarrassed. “I don’t have another. I went to class like this, but the instructor made me leave. Said I should come in uniform. And I don’t know. I mean, obviously, with my condition, is there any point to…there I go again. Telling you things you probably don’t care at all about.”</p>
<p>Spock found he did care, but he did not know why.</p>
<p>But he wasn’t sure what to say about that. So instead he pointed to the scone.</p>
<p>“Is that your dinner?”</p>
<p>“What? Oh. Yeah. Uh. Kinda.”</p>
<p>Spock shook his head. “I would like to have you join me for dinner.”</p>
<p>“Oh. I can’t do that.”</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>“I don’t really have the…” Jim stopped and rubbed the back of his neck.</p>
<p>“My apartment is near. Just over there, in fact.” Spock pointed to his building. “I am not a terribly inventive cook, but I am capable enough.”</p>
<p>Jim blinked at him. “I couldn’t impose.”</p>
<p>“As I understand it, it is not an imposition if I have made the invitation.”</p>
<p>Very slowly, Jim smiled. “Yeah, okay. Maybe. But…”</p>
<p>“Jim, I have plenty of food. Unless you think I am untrustworthy.” Spock paused. “Which I cannot blame you, since you do not actually know me.”</p>
<p>“No. I mean…you’re an ambassador’s son and…”</p>
<p>“Close to disowned by said ambassador,” Spock admitted.</p>
<p>This caused Jim to laugh.</p>
<p>“Well, then, I guess you’re okay. Sure. If you really don’t think it’s an imposition.”</p>
<p>“I do not. Follow me.”</p>
<p>And Jim did.</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>Spock found himself vaguely embarrassed when he let Jim into his apartment as he had not expected to have a visitor and had not really tidied up in the last few days.</p>
<p>He was not a slob by any means, but he’d flung the sweater he’d worn the day before over the back of the couch and hadn’t gotten around to emptying the kitchen trash.</p>
<p>“I do not have coffee if…”</p>
<p>Jim waved that away. “Not really drinking that. Wasn’t much of a coffee drinker anyway, but I don’t know. Guess I should stick to something without caffeine.”</p>
<p>“I do have herbal tea.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Sure.”</p>
<p>Spock made his way into the kitchen and shoved the bag of trash he’d left out that morning back under the sink for taking care of later.</p>
<p>“I have the baked goods I just picked up. There is something similar to waffles that I could heat up if you are amenable.”</p>
<p>Jim nodded. “Sure. Anything.”</p>
<p>“Sit there at the table and I will bring the tea to you and then everything else. I could make you an egg.”</p>
<p>“You eat eggs?”</p>
<p>“I do not. But I keep some here for when my friend, Nyota, comes.”</p>
<p>“Oh. I don’t want to be trouble.”</p>
<p>“You are not. How would you like it?”</p>
<p>“Over easy?”</p>
<p>“Very well.”</p>
<p>Jim sat where Spock told him to and then tapped his fingers lightly on the table in front of him as Spock made himself busy preparing tea.</p>
<p>He glanced over at Jim. “Perhaps you would like to notify your significant other as to your whereabouts.”</p>
<p>“I don’t have a significant other, Spock.”</p>
<p>“Your condition…”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Jim laughed. “Suggests otherwise.”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Spock turned back to the tea. “Then he abandoned you?”</p>
<p>“No. I mean, not like you’re saying. He died, actually, in a race.”</p>
<p>Spock frowned and turned to look at Jim. “A race?”</p>
<p>“Hover bike. He used to race them. For a living. Professional racer. Aaron Markley?”</p>
<p>Spock shook his head that he had not heard of him.</p>
<p>“Anyway, he crashed one day.” Jim inhaled and then let it out. “Didn’t make it.”</p>
<p>“I grieve with thee.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. It’s been…I didn’t even know then what…that I was going to have a baby. So he never got to know. And now here I am about to become a single dad. Kind of scary.”</p>
<p>“I imagine.” Spock brought over a cup of tea to Jim. “Chamomile.”</p>
<p>“Thanks.” Jim smiled. “I should have told you before. I’m allergic to peppermint, but chamomile is fine.”</p>
<p>“I am glad to hear it.” Spock returned to the kitchen to heat the food. “How long has Mr. Markley been deceased?”</p>
<p>“Crash happened about four weeks ago. Spent a week in the hospital in a coma. Then he passed away.”</p>
<p>“I am sorry to ask you such questions. It is none of my business.”</p>
<p>Jim shook his head. “They’re all natural questions, Spock. I don’t mind.”</p>
<p>“And your family?”</p>
<p>“Not really around. Haven’t seen any of them in years. You know about my dad. My mom’s on the USS Excelsior and has been for a while. My brother…well. And my stepdad, he died too.”</p>
<p>“That is unfortunate,” Spock murmured.</p>
<p>“Not really,” Jim said, with a twisted grin. “I mean I don’t wish anyone death, but he wasn’t ever very nice.”</p>
<p>Spock nodded and brought over the warmed plates of the Vulcan waffles and the egg for Jim. “Syrup?”</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>Spock fetched the small bottle he kept in his refrigerator and he brought it and eating utensils to the table. He noticed Jim had already consumed half of his egg.</p>
<p>“Is Nyota your girlfriend?” Jim asked him as Spock settled into his seat.</p>
<p>“She is not. Only a friend.” Spock paused. He did not know why he spoke next, but he did. “I prefer males as romantic partners.”</p>
<p>Jim didn’t respond to that and Spock hadn’t expected that he would. Instead, Jim cut off some of the waffle, covered in syrup Spock saw, and popped it into his mouth.</p>
<p>“It’s good.”</p>
<p>“Yes, they are a good bakery.”</p>
<p>“I know. I like their scones.” Jim blushed again. “I’m really sorry you had to pay earlier.”</p>
<p>“Jim. It was nothing. I assure you.”</p>
<p>He nodded. “I thought I had the amount with me. I must have just forgotten it. You know?”</p>
<p>“It can happen,” Spock agreed.</p>
<p>Jim finished the rest of his egg and waffle without any other words. Then he sipped about half his tea before standing up. Obviously ready to leave, Spock realized.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Spock. That was really nice of you. But I’m going to get out of your hair.”</p>
<p>Spock walked with him to his apartment door. “You will be all right getting home?”</p>
<p>“Of course. Thanks. Goodnight.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Jim.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock rose early in the morning and completed his meditation before his shower and then dressed in preparation for meeting Nyota for breakfast.</p>
<p>There was a small French Café they both enjoyed that served breakfast and it was only two and half blocks from Spock’s apartment.</p>
<p>So when he was ready, he grabbed the bag of kitchen trash from the night before and left his apartment. He stopped in the area where he was to discard his trash and threw in the bag, then made his way down the rest of the stairs.</p>
<p>To his surprise, in the front lobby, a vagrant was lying curled up on the carpeted floor asleep. Spock had never seen that before and he could not help but wonder how the individual got into the building.</p>
<p>Spock was not without sympathy though, so he approached them, ready to give them some money to perhaps find a better place to stay the following night.</p>
<p>And just as he got close, Spock recognized the figure and drew back in surprise.</p>
<p>“<em>Jim</em>.”</p>
<p>Jim jumped at the sound of his name, woke instantly, eyes huge and frightened in his face. “What…?”</p>
<p>“Jim,’ Spock spoke more quietly. His own heart had picked up a fast pace. “What are you doing here sleeping on the floor?”</p>
<p>Jim looked stricken as he struggled to his feet. His face was red. “S-Sorry. I’m sorry. I…” He reached for the door of the exit, but Spock stopped him with a hand on his arm.</p>
<p>“Jim, do not be alarmed. I am not angry. I am merely…confused.”</p>
<p>Jim bit his lip. “Okay. Well. I meant to be gone before anyone came down. I guess I slept too long.”</p>
<p>“You have been here since last night when you left?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“I do not understand.”</p>
<p>“I…I lost my housing. The place I had before, well, Aaron was basically paying for, but I can’t afford it anymore, so I was staying in this other guy’s dorm on campus, but it was a single and I wasn’t supposed to be there, so I got thrown out.” Jim sighed. “I don’t have anything to get my own dorm. Damn. Things are a mess.”</p>
<p>Spock stared at him. He felt a bit nauseous himself, really. “When were you thrown out of the dorm?”</p>
<p>“A couple of nights ago,” Jim admitted. “I stayed here last night because I thought it might be warmer and safer so…”</p>
<p>“And the night before? Where did you stay?”</p>
<p>Jim wouldn’t meet his eyes. “The street.”</p>
<p>“That is unacceptable.”</p>
<p>“Spock, listen.”</p>
<p>“This morning you will accompany me for breakfast.”</p>
<p>Jim shook his head. “I don’t have the money to pay for it.”</p>
<p>“I will pay for it.”</p>
<p>“I don’t need charity.”</p>
<p>“I am sorry to be blunt, Jim, but in fact, you do. You will come to breakfast with me. I’m meeting my friend, Nyota. And before you tell me you don’t want to impose, you are not.”</p>
<p>“Um.” Jim’s voice was very soft and very small, but he nodded. “All right.”</p>
<p>“And we will figure out your housing. What is not acceptable is you sleeping on the street or in the middle of an apartment hallway.”</p>
<p>“You really don’t have any reason to help me. I’m sure I can figure something out,” Jim said, stubbornly, Spock thought.</p>
<p>“Perhaps. But there is a Terran saying. Two heads are better than one. How do you feel?”</p>
<p>“Stiff all over and just a bit pukeable.”</p>
<p>“A small breakfast may be in order then until you can keep something larger down.”</p>
<p>“Right.”</p>
<p>Spock eyed him. “There is no time for a shower now, but later after breakfast. Do you have other clothing?”</p>
<p>“In a locker downtown.”</p>
<p>“Very well. We will collect your things when breakfast is over.”</p>
<p>Spock was gratified when Jim chose not to argue with him this time.</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>Spock knew he and Jim were just a little bit late to meet Nyota as she was pacing when they arrived. When she saw Jim, she made a slight face, and then gave Spock a questioning look.</p>
<p>“Uhura,” Jim greeted her.</p>
<p>“Kirk.”</p>
<p>“You are acquainted?” Spock asked, surprised.</p>
<p>“We rode the shuttle together from Riverside,” Jim answered for them.</p>
<p>“Er, yes,” Nyota said. “Kirk, how are you? Don’t think I’ve seen you much since then.”</p>
<p>“I’m okay. You?”</p>
<p>“Good. I didn’t know you and Spock knew each other either.”</p>
<p>Spock angled his head. “It is a recent acquaintance. Shall we have breakfast?”</p>
<p>They got a table for four outside at Jim’s request. He had whispered to Spock that it would be better for his morning sickness.</p>
<p>After they ordered, Nyota rested her chin in her hand and looked at Jim.</p>
<p>“You don’t look so good, Kirk. Are you sure you’re all right?”</p>
<p>Jim sighed. “Yeah. Just…it’s a bit of morning sickness.”</p>
<p>Her eyes widened. “Morning sickness? You mean you’re…”</p>
<p>“In a family way,” Jim said with a slight smirk. “Yeah, you could say that. I didn’t think it would happen for me, to be honest. It usually skips a generation. Lucky me it didn’t in my family.”</p>
<p>Nyota looked at Spock. “Is Spock…?”</p>
<p>At that Jim actually laughed. “Oh. No. No. We only met recently. He’s been very nice to me. But no. The baby’s other parent was killed in a hover bike crash.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>“Jim is facing a difficult situation right now,” Spock said. “And I am assisting him.”</p>
<p>Jim gripped the edge of the table. “Um. I have to…be back.”</p>
<p>And he scrambled up from the table and hurried off.</p>
<p>Nyota watched him and then looked back at Spock. She smiled.</p>
<p>“Picking up strays, Spock?”</p>
<p>“He needs help, Nyota.”</p>
<p>“I can see that. And I wouldn’t expect anything less considering what I know about you. Just be careful and know what you’re getting into.”</p>
<p>“I am fairly certain I do not know, but I am going to do it anyway.”</p>
<p>She laughed. Picked up her coffee and took a sip. “Yep.”   </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim ended up having to take his breakfast home as he could not eat it at the Cafe. Spock left Nyota’s company with a promise to be careful and to talk to her soon.</p>
<p>Jim had moved off to the side, looking into the window of a shop, Spock supposed, pretending to anyway. His gaze wasn’t really on the items in the shop. Spock guessed he wished to give Spock and Nyota privacy.</p>
<p>When Spock walked over to where Jim stood, Jim smiled.</p>
<p>“Everything okay?”</p>
<p>“Indeed.”</p>
<p>“Doesn’t like me much.”</p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p>Jim sighed.</p>
<p>Spock shifted. “She does not know you.”</p>
<p>“You don’t either.”</p>
<p>“Jim, do not concern yourself with what Nyota thinks. It’s nothing personal.”</p>
<p>“Of course.” Jim nodded. “What next?”</p>
<p>“We will go and get your things out of the locker and then return to my apartment.”</p>
<p>“And then?”</p>
<p>“In all honesty, at this point, I think it is best for you to stay with me.”</p>
<p>That made Jim laugh. “With you? Come on, Spock. You don’t need all this trouble.”</p>
<p>“What trouble are you?”</p>
<p>Jim blew out a breath. “Pregnant, broke, unable to function in the mornings. I can’t even go to my classes right now. Definitely more than you bargained for simply because you asked me if I was all right.”</p>
<p>Spock considered all that. And there was definitely truth to it. He had not intended to take on care for Jim when he saw him leaning weakly against a building.</p>
<p>“Circumstances change our lives every day.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Boy, do I know that.”</p>
<p>“And while I had not anticipated what transpired since asking if you needed assistance, I do not regret doing so, and I want to help you.” Spock paused. “Have you got anywhere else to go?”</p>
<p>Jim didn’t answer, just looked away from Spock.</p>
<p>“Other than to sleep another night on the street or in a lobby of a building or as a guest of someone at their dorm where you can be kicked out at any time? Or even assaulted.”</p>
<p>“Fine. Yeah. I get it. You’re right. I don’t have anywhere else.” Jim met his gaze. “I can’t even really go back to Riverside. The farmhouse I lived in belonged to my stepfather and his family are selling it. Aaron had no family either. That was one of the things the two of us had in common when we met. And as for my brother…I don’t even know if he’s alive. I’m seriously screwed.”</p>
<p>“Well,” Spock said. “As it happens, you no longer are. I have a place where you can stay.”</p>
<p>Jim smiled and if there was a hint of moisture in those aqua eyes, Spock chose not to comment.</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>The clothing Jim had in the locker turned out to be his too tight cadet’s uniform, pajamas, and some underthings.</p>
<p>Over Jim’s strenuous protests, they stopped on the way back to the apartment for some larger clothing for Jim to wear. Mostly T-shirts and baggy pants. Spock had noticed that Jim seemed to only have the smallest bump showing so far, but he knew it would only increase as the baby grew.</p>
<p>They’d have to get Jim medical care as well, but first he needed to get Jim settled in with him.</p>
<p>Spock stopped for some more groceries too.</p>
<p>When they approached Spock’s apartment, Jim once more began to fuss over staying with Spock.</p>
<p>Spock was losing some patience with it.</p>
<p>“Jim. You need to stay somewhere. Correct?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“While my fortunes are much better than yours currently are,  I still do not want to have to obtain separate living quarters for you at this time. Therefore, the choice remains clear.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry I’m being such a pain in the ass. You’ve been nothing but great. Thank you.”</p>
<p>“You are welcome.”</p>
<p>And if Spock thought that would be the end of their arguments, he was wrong.</p>
<p>“I will give you the bedroom while I will sleep on the couch.”</p>
<p>Jim stared at him and instantly shook his head. “What? No. No. I can’t do that. I can sleep on the couch.”</p>
<p>“So can I.”</p>
<p>“But…Spock. I’m not an invalid. The couch will be fine.”</p>
<p>“Nor am I. And the bathroom is closer to the bedroom,” Spock pointed out logically.</p>
<p>Jim opened his mouth and then closed it. He bit his lip. “Geez. Okay. Okay.”</p>
<p>“I hope that we can now put all this arguing over your care behind us. And I may as well advise we will be going to the doctor within the next few days too.”</p>
<p>“All right. Yes. I’m sor…”</p>
<p>“Cease apologizing for everything, Jim. What is…is. And cannot be changed. We can only make the best of what our reality now is.”</p>
<p>“Vulcan philosophy?”</p>
<p>“My mother, actually. Do you think you can eat the food we brought from your breakfast now?”</p>
<p>Jim nodded. “Yeah, I think I can.”</p>
<p>And to Spock’s surprise, Jim stepped over to him and hugged him. For a moment, Spock just stood there, not sure what to do, how to act. But just before Jim began to pull away, Spock lifted his arms up and around Jim to return the hug.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Jim murmured. “For everything. You’re my angel.”</p>
<p>“Hardly an angel,” Spock replied, feeling embarrassed. He was glad when Jim pulled away though and went to find the container with his breakfast.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
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    </a>
  </p>
  <p></p>
  <div class="center"></div>
</div></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock had managed to get Jim an appointment at Starfleet Medical the next afternoon. He was relieved when this time Jim had not argued.</p>
<p>Spock experienced a somewhat restless night on his own couch. It had not been acquired for sleeping comfort. And it was too short for him so his legs dangled off the edge.</p>
<p>If Jim was going to stay with him long term, and Spock had no reason to think otherwise, he was going to have to obtain better sleeping accommodations. Perhaps a sofa that included a bed. </p>
<p>Jim had looked unhappy in the morning when he’d come out to see where Spock had slept, but he made no comment, for which Spock had been glad. He certainly wasn’t going to have Jim sleeping there.</p>
<p>Spock had fixed them a small breakfast of toast and tea, but, Jim hadn’t managed to keep it down.</p>
<p>Now they were in the examination room waiting for the doctor to see Jim.</p>
<p>The man who walked in was a few years older than himself and Jim with brown hair and hazel eyes. Spock saw that his tag read <em>Leonard McCoy.</em></p>
<p>“Well, Jim, you’re definitely pregnant,” Leonard McCoy said, glancing at the PADD he held.</p>
<p>“No kidding,” Jim said, wryly.</p>
<p>McCoy looked up at Jim and smiled, extending his hand. “Leonard McCoy.”</p>
<p>“Hi. Jim Kirk.”</p>
<p>McCoy nodded. “Yes. Related to George Kirk, then?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. He was my dad.”</p>
<p>“Rotten luck him dying on Eminiar VII. Bad mission.”</p>
<p>Jim smiled faintly, awkwardly. “Yeah.”</p>
<p>McCoy glanced at Spock next. “Other parent?”</p>
<p>Jim shook his head. “No. Just a friend. My…He was killed in a crash. Hover bike. Aaron Markley.”</p>
<p>“I heard about him. I’m very sorry for your loss.” McCoy put a hand on Jim’s arm. “You’ve had some rough times.”</p>
<p>Jim shrugged. “Hasn’t everyone?”</p>
<p>Doctor McCoy nodded. “Most of us, yes. Everything looks good with the baby. You’re experiencing morning sickness?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, sucks.”</p>
<p>McCoy chuckled. “Bet it does. That should pass with a week or two. Are you wanting to know the gender of the baby?”</p>
<p>“I’d like to, yes.”</p>
<p>“Should be able to tell with your next appointment. I’m going to prescribe some prenatal vitamins. I can give you something for the nausea if you want too.”</p>
<p>“Okay, thank you.” Jim sighed. “I didn’t expect this. I thought the male pregnancy gene skipped generations. My dad’s brother had kids.”</p>
<p>“Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. It depends. Biology doesn’t always act the way you think it should, medical science or not. Guess you got lucky.”</p>
<p>Jim rolled his eyes. “Lucky. That’s one way to look at it. I was stupid. Had I known there was a chance I would have taken the suppressants.”</p>
<p>“There are other options…” McCoy began but before Spock could become alarmed, Jim was already shaking his head.</p>
<p>“No. Not for me. Whatever happens, I’m having this baby.”</p>
<p>“Good,” the doctor said with a smile. “Have any questions for me?”</p>
<p>“No, not right now. Thank you, Doctor McCoy.”</p>
<p>“You can call me Leonard. I’m not much for formality.” He shook Jim’s hand again. “And you are?”</p>
<p>“Spock.”</p>
<p>McCoy nodded. “Right. I’ve heard about you. Ambassador Sarek’s son. Nice to meet you.”</p>
<p>“And you.”</p>
<p>“You have a good place to stay, Jim? The dorms…”</p>
<p>“He is staying with me at my apartment. I will see that he follows all instructions.”</p>
<p>Jim snorted at that. “Yeah, Spock’s my guardian angel. Really. He’s been fantastic.”</p>
<p>“All right then.” McCoy made a notation on his PADD. “See Nurse Chapel on the way out. She’ll set up your next appointment and get you the script for prenatal vitamins and the anti-nausea powder you can mix in water or tea. Make sure you’re getting plenty of nutrition, which can be challenging with the morning sickness. If it doesn’t get better or gets worse in the next couple of weeks, you contact me right away.”</p>
<p>“Okay got it. Thanks, Leonard.”</p>
<p>“My pleasure. See you soon.”</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>“Are you hungry?” Spock asked Jim as they left Starfleet Medical. “We can get something to eat before we pick up your prescriptions.”</p>
<p>“A little, yeah. But I don’t need a fuss.”</p>
<p>“It is not a fuss to eat. Doctor McCoy said you must keep up with your nutrition. The Starfleet Headquarters Cafeteria is just two doors down. We will go there.”</p>
<p>When they were seated with food at a table for two, Jim sighed.</p>
<p>“What is your concern?” Spock asked as he stuck his fork into his rice.</p>
<p>“I’ll never be able to pay you back.”</p>
<p>“I am not seeking repayment.”</p>
<p>“Maybe not but…hell, I should just get like a regular job. What’s the point of even trying to keep up pretenses?”</p>
<p>“Pretenses?”</p>
<p>“I signed up to the Academy to somehow prove I was better than my dad. To be a starship captain. And that’s never going to happen now!”</p>
<p>“Jim…”</p>
<p>Spock was alarmed to see that Jim’s eyes had welled with tears.</p>
<p>“Only I can’t even hold down a job either because I can’t stop throwing up.”</p>
<p>Spock blew out a breath. “Jim. We will figure something out.”</p>
<p>“But see there is no <em>we</em>, Spock. You’re just a nice guy who got stuck helping me out because you weren’t smart enough to run far away when you first came on a loser like me.”</p>
<p>When Jim moved to get up, Spock stopped him with a hand on his arm.</p>
<p>“Logically, perhaps, what you say is true. And it does not make sense that I am determined to help you. Yet I am. I know you are upset and feel hopeless, Jim. But the situation is not hopeless even if you currently feel that way. I promise.”</p>
<p>Jim sat back down fully in his chair. He met Spock’s gaze. One tear had slipped out onto his cheek.</p>
<p>“It’s not?”</p>
<p>“No. Please eat.”</p>
<p>Jim nodded, looked down at his plate of mashed potatoes and gravy and something called grits.</p>
<p>“Okay.” Jim nodded again. “Okay.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim woke to staring at the ceiling. It was light in the bedroom so he knew that meant morning had arrived. He was lying on his back because that was the only semi way he could be comfortable. He’d been a side sleeper before, but not sleeping that way bothered him. Perhaps eventually when the pregnancy settled in more with him, he could try it again.</p>
<p>He had to pee badly, so he braced himself off the mattress and hauled himself to his feet.  He wasn’t that big yet, but he supposed as the baby grew getting up and down would just become far more complicated.</p>
<p>He leaned against the sink as he relieved himself and then eyed the shower. It had been a couple of days since he had one and he was pretty sure if he didn’t take one, his host, Spock, would start to strongly suggest it.</p>
<p>Jim just hoped he could manage it without barfing all over himself.</p>
<p>“Okay, you,” he said to the baby, hand resting briefly on his stomach. “Let’s see if we can manage this.”</p>
<p>He reached in and turned on the shower spray and slipped out of his pajamas.</p>
<p>Jim looked forward to knowing the baby’s gender so he could start calling the child he or she. Maybe even called the baby the name he picked for it. Whatever that would be.</p>
<p>He stepped carefully into the standup shower and under the showerhead.</p>
<p>“So far so good,” Jim whispered.</p>
<p>On the side, on a shelf, Spock had several shower gels and shampoos, which for some reason fascinated Jim. He would have thought Spock would be no nonsense and have like a bar of soap smelling soap.</p>
<p>One such shower gel was scented Strawberry or so it claimed. And for some reason Jim was almost positive it came as a gift from Nyota.</p>
<p>He picked it up, snapped open the lid and sniffed and immediately blanched.</p>
<p>“Ugh.” It smelled like strawberries all right but apparently Jim Junior or Jimette didn’t care for it.  He closed it and put it back on the shelf. The one next to it was lime verbena so Jim tried that. It smelled fine and didn’t make him gag so he figured that was a win.</p>
<p>He made it through his shower without barfing, another win, and he wrapped a towel around his waist and went back out into the bedroom to dress.    </p>
<p>Jim wandered to the window and looked out onto the street below. Spock’s apartment was on the third floor and his bedroom window faced the main street in front of the building. It was a pretty good neighborhood. Better than the one he and Aaron had briefly lived in.</p>
<p>He’d met Aaron at a bar not long after he had come to San Francisco after being talked into joining by Pike.</p>
<p>Captain Pike had known his dad. Had even served under Captain Kirk as a young ensign. And then his dad had been killed on Eminiar VII on what was supposed to be a diplomatic mission. But when George Kirk fought with those on the planet about the computer simulation war games they waged, he’d been assassinated.</p>
<p>Jim hadn’t been born yet, but his mother gave birth to him shortly after his father’s murder.</p>
<p>He’d felt some sense of something when Pike spoke to him about his dad and so Jim had enlisted.</p>
<p>Then met Aaron.</p>
<p>Aaron had just been getting into hover bike racing, just had been getting his name out there, when the crash happened.</p>
<p>And now here Jim was. Relying on the kindness of strangers.  A line from A Streetcar Named Desire, a book Jim had read.</p>
<p>Jim had no idea why Spock was helping him, but he was glad of it for however long it was meant to be.</p>
<p>He turned away from the window to go get his clothes from the dresser in the bedroom. Spock had made him put all his new clothes there. Jim winced at the idea of Spock buying him so much.</p>
<p>Frank’s sister had told him if they sold the farmhouse for a decent amount, Jim might get some, but he knew it wasn’t a for sure thing. She could change her mind even. She was nicer than Frank and had felt bad for the way Frank was when he drank and ‘got into his temper’ as she put it. Most of the time he’d just been subjected to verbal abuse, but Sam…</p>
<p>Sam talked back.</p>
<p>Jim glanced at the PADD he’d gotten out of the locker downtown. It was an old used model. It didn’t even work very well for Jim’s classes at the Academy. Most of the time he’d borrowed someone else’s equipment or went to the library to do his assignments.</p>
<p>He pulled on the sweat pants and T-shirt he’d picked to wear and then went over to the PADD to look at his last search.</p>
<p>
  <em>George Samuel Kirk…Not found.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Samuel Kirk…Not found.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Sam Kirk…Not found.</em>
</p>
<p>If Sam was out there somewhere, he sure didn’t want Jim to find him. He turned off the PADD and turned to go out of the apartment.</p>
<p>Spock was up and fussing around in the kitchen. A pillow and blanket were still on the couch.</p>
<p>Jim bit his lip. It wasn’t fair Spock giving up his bed for Jim.</p>
<p>“Good morning, Jim.”</p>
<p>He smiled, feeling kind of shy, really. Spock was so sweet and so gorgeous and normally someone who wouldn’t pay a bit of attention to someone like him.</p>
<p>“Morning.”</p>
<p>“How are you feeling?”</p>
<p>“Not sure yet,” he admitted. “Haven’t barfed yet and I had a shower.”</p>
<p>Spock nodded. “Surely an improvement then. I have made you some chamomile tea and added the anti-nausea powder. It is on the table along with the prescribed vitamins."</p>
<p>Jim looked over and sure enough it was all laid out for him. He was in danger of getting all emotional again, so he sniffed, and went over to the table and plopped down in front of the tea.</p>
<p>“If you can keep that down, we will try food,” Spock said, as though none of it was unusual and that he helped dummies like Jim every day. Maybe he did.</p>
<p>“Okay. Thank you.”</p>
<p>“When we are done with breakfast, I need to go to the Academy for a few hours.”</p>
<p>“Of course. For classes and stuff.”</p>
<p>“Indeed. You are free during that time to do whatever you wish. I have a television if you’d like to watch something. When I return, I hope we can discuss your future academia.”</p>
<p>Jim snorted at that. “Not much of one.”</p>
<p>Spock angled his head. “We shall see. Drink the tea.”</p>
<p>Jim nodded, took a tentative sip, and hoped he wasn’t going to be sick.    </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Spock returned that afternoon from his classes, Jim was seated on the couch with a pint of ice cream clutched in his hands. There was vanilla ice cream and caramel all over his lips.</p><p>Jim laughed when Spock stared at him.</p><p>“Oops. I’ve been caught. I ate it all. Sorry.”</p><p>“It was for you,” Spock replied. “There is more in the freezer are well. You must be feeling all right enough to indulge.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Jim leaned over and put the pint container down on the table in front of the couch. “Uh. So. How was your day?”</p><p>“I made efficient use of time during my activities.” Spock set his book bag down on the nearest chair. He reached in and pulled out a PADD. “I met with those in charge of the Command Track at Starfleet Academy, Commander Rhinestein and Commodore Owens, as well as Captain Pike.”</p><p>“Yeah? What for?”</p><p>Spock handed the PADD to Jim and then sat down beside him.</p><p>“I made note that your own personal PADD was not entirely useful. That is a more up to date one.”</p><p>Jim looked down at the PADD in his hands.</p><p>“After speaking with the Command Track advisers, it was determined that you could take your morning classes remotely from here with that PADD. That way you wouldn’t miss participation because of your pregnancy related illnesses.”</p><p>“Oh.” Jim nodded.</p><p>“They are hopeful you will be able to attend afternoon courses in person, but have allowed you an exemption for those for a period of two weeks at which point it can be extended after reevaluation if necessary. Once more, during those two weeks the classes can be attended here through the PADD, or if you prefer, through my terminal at my desk over there. In those two weeks, we will also obtain you cadet uniforms that can accommodate your pregnancy as it advances.”</p><p>Jim continued to stare at the PADD and Spock waited to see what he would say. Eventually those blue blue eyes rose to meet his.</p><p>“Does any of this matter?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Jim sighed. “I mean…this is so sweet. It’s absolutely incredible that you’d do this for me, Spock. And I swear I am not trying to sound ungrateful. But, with a child, how can I ever command a starship? They aren’t even allowed on ships at this point. And I don’t think that’s changing any time soon.”</p><p>“Well.” Spock paused, considering. Of course he had thought of that as well. Logically, it would be difficult to captain a ship with a child, at least and maintain physical custody of said child. “Many officers of Starfleet have children.”</p><p>“Sure. But they leave the child behind with their spouse or their family. And I have neither. Even if I wanted to leave my kid with someone else, there is no one else to leave him or her with.”</p><p>“At this point, commanding a starship is years away, Jim. Even if you were not going to have a child. It is impossible to predict what you will face when the time comes, but, even if you cannot go the path you originally hoped for, you could become an instructor at the Academy or work at Headquarters. There are many paths open for you, even if it’s not a starship. I have looked at your records and I have come to know you, slightly, I will admit, over the last couple of days, and you are of high intelligence. You can go far in whatever you choose to do.”</p><p>Jim had nodded during what Spock had been saying.  </p><p>“You’re right,” Jim said, his voice whisper soft. “And I’m sorry.”</p><p>Spock frowned. “For what do you apologize?”</p><p>“You’re doing all these amazing things for me. Taking me in. Feeding me. Taking me to the doctor. Making sure I can keep attending the Academy. And all I do is whine that I can’t be a captain someday.” Jim sighed and blew out a breath. “It’s a wonder you haven’t thrown me out on my ass.”</p><p>“No one is being thrown out on their ass, Jim.”</p><p>That made Jim laugh, which Spock was glad of.</p><p>“You are down on your luck at present, but that will not always be the case. And when you are not, maybe you can pass on kindness to someone else in need.”</p><p>“Pay it forward.”</p><p>“Indeed. But regardless, I am quite satisfied with the situation as it stands, and I am in a position to assist you. I am fortunate. And perhaps there is a tad bit of selfishness in there for me as well.”</p><p>Jim gave him a look. “I don’t see how.”</p><p>“I do not have many friends, Jim. There is Nyota. And I am fortunate in her. But I would like to have other friends here. And male friends given my own interest in the male gender. And…I also admit to a certain interest in your child when the baby is born. I have not been around many infants, and none of them human.”</p><p>Jim smiled. “Well. Then I am glad to call you friend, Spock. And thank you. For everything.” </p><p>There was a knock at the door.</p><p>“Who’s that?” Jim wondered.</p><p>Spock glanced down at his communication device. “Ah. The arrival of my new bed.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“In the form of a sofa bed. I have been shopping.”</p><p>Spock rose to accept the delivery.   </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim watched the guys deliver Spock’s new sofa, with a pull out bed, apparently, and then take the old couch away. He could never ever repay this kind of selflessness. Not in money or acts, Jim was sure.</p>
<p>He had never expected to have a knight in shining armor. But that was what Spock was.</p>
<p>Jim had cared about Aaron. He had. But the truth was Aaron could get a little physical when he was drunk, which seemed to be an increasing amount of time. He’d been intending to talk to Aaron about it, but then the crash happened, and Jim found out he was pregnant.</p>
<p>All of it was so weird and too much, really.</p>
<p>But then there was Spock.</p>
<p>Sure, Jim had heard of Spock. Had even seen him on campus with Uhura and he had assumed they were dating. He had even seen Spock and Uhura together at the Andorian Garden. That had been a terrible day. He’d spent most of it crying after finding out Aaron was never going to wake up and decisions had to be made. By Jim. Aaron didn’t have any family. There was only Jim.</p>
<p>And letting him go was the least Jim could do for him.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Jim heard himself say again.</p>
<p>He could tell by the way Spock’s jaw tightened he was likely losing patience with Jim’s constant apologizing. But what did you say to the guy who was giving up so much to take care of Jim and his baby and for what? All Jim could say was sorry and thank you.</p>
<p>“I can sleep here on the sofa bed,” Jim said, as he leaned down slightly to feel the soft material of the new couch.</p>
<p>Spock sighed. There was absolutely no doubt about it.</p>
<p>“You will sleep in the bedroom.”</p>
<p>“Spock, that’s…”</p>
<p>“Jim, I have a question.”</p>
<p>Jim blinked at the interruption. “Uh. Okay.”</p>
<p>“Are you going to argue with me about absolutely everything every day?”</p>
<p>Jim laughed. He couldn’t help it. It was both funny and ridiculous and probably a dozen other things. But mostly, it was funny, and Spock was just too damn cute.</p>
<p>“Probably,” Jim admitted. “Now you’re really getting to know me.”</p>
<p>Spock arched a brow. “Well. Let me be very clear so that you at least cease arguing about this particular matter. For the duration of your stay here, you will be in the bedroom in the bed there. Is that quite clear?”</p>
<p>“It’s not really fair to you. And there’s really no reason I can’t sleep on the sofa bed.”</p>
<p>“The reason is because I say that you won’t,” Spock said simply. “And that is reason enough.”</p>
<p>“You can be kind of haughty sometimes.”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Spock looked at him. “Now what else do you feel the need to argue with me about?”</p>
<p>Jim smiled. “That seems to be about it for the moment.”</p>
<p>“Excellent. I have had a very long trying day and I would rather not spend the energy convincing you to drop any more arguments.” Spock held up his hand as Jim opened his mouth. “And if you are about to apologize again, cease. I do not need it.”</p>
<p>Jim blew out a breath. “Okay. How about you sit down, and I will make you a cup of tea then?”</p>
<p>“I can make…”</p>
<p>“Okay, you’re about to get another argument,” Jim said stubbornly. “I’m perfectly capable of making you a damn cup of tea, Spock. And if you’re going to insist on doing everything while I sit around like a bump, we’re going to have a lot of arguments.”</p>
<p>Now it was Spock’s turn to open and close his mouth.</p>
<p>“Sit down.”</p>
<p>Spock’s nostrils flared but then he nodded. “Very well.”</p>
<p>He went over to the dining room table and sat there while Jim went into the kitchen and made tea.  </p>
<p>When it was finished, Jim brought over two cups and a teapot for the tea. He sat across from Spock, while waiting for the tea to steep.</p>
<p>“Your friend Uhura.”</p>
<p>“What about her?”</p>
<p>“I should tell you she’s probably going to try to tell you how horrible I am.”</p>
<p>Spock looked surprised. “What? Why?”</p>
<p>Jim shrugged. “We met at a bar in Riverside the first time. I mean, yeah, we rode on the shuttle together to San Francisco for the Academy. But we met at the bar. I didn’t know Aaron then. Anyway she was there with a group of other cadets.  I approached her and hit on her because she was cute.”</p>
<p>“So you like males and females.”</p>
<p>He nodded. “I like everyone. Anyway, it was totally casual. At least I thought it was. And I think she did too. I don’t know why anyone thinks she can’t handle herself. But these other cadets butted in. Acted like macho jerks. Picked a fight with me. I don’t know why. They were fuckers. It was like four of them against me. If it wasn’t for Pike arriving, I think they might have killed me. They were like irrationally angry at me.”</p>
<p>“You should have brought charges against them,” Spock said, clearly bristling.</p>
<p>“Maybe. But I didn’t. And Pike made them leave and then he talked me into coming here. He knew my dad.”</p>
<p>“Yes, he has told me. But why would Nyota say you were horrible?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, Spock. She didn’t really make much of an effort in trying to get those cadets to stop. She said at one point I’d had enough, but it wasn’t like she was really intent on stopping them, so I’m guessing she thought I deserved it. I don’t know. So, just in case, I wanted to tell you she might say something about me, and I wanted you to know my side of the story.”</p>
<p>“I see.”</p>
<p>“Anyway, I know she’s your friend, and I’m glad. Looks like she does a better job of picking her friends these days.”</p>
<p>“I am sorry you were hurt.”</p>
<p>“Eh. It’s okay. I mean I used to get in a lot of fights in those days. I have a bit of a smart mouth, I guess. Don’t know when to shut up. Especially around bullies.”</p>
<p>Jim picked up the teapot and poured each of them tea.</p>
<p>“I have some experience with bullies myself,” Spock admitted.</p>
<p>“Yeah? You? Who would bully you?”</p>
<p>“You are surprised I would be bullied?”</p>
<p>Jim laughed. “Well, yeah. You’re magnificent. Although, I suppose that’s it, huh?”</p>
<p>Spock blinked at him. “What is it?”</p>
<p>“They were jealous of you. You’re so incredible, they felt inferior.”</p>
<p>“I have never viewed it quite like that.”</p>
<p>“So what did happen?”</p>
<p>“It was my Vulcan peers at school. They didn’t like that I was half human. They said a lot of unkind things about me and my mother. My father, too, for choosing her.  It was relentless. Until I fought back.”</p>
<p>“Bastards. You fought back?”</p>
<p>“I did. But it took a lot to get me to that point. I am not violent by nature.”</p>
<p>“I know.” Jim smiled. He found himself reaching for and taking hold of Spock’s hand. He didn’t know why. But then Spock stared down at their linked hands and blushed. Jim immediately dropped Spock’s hand. “Uh. Sorry, I wasn’t really thinking. You know. The-the touch…”</p>
<p>“It is fine, Jim. I was not offended.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“When we are done here, I will get you set up on the PADD I brought for you and my terminal here.”</p>
<p>Jim smiled. “Great. Great.”     </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock met with Nyota for lunch the next day at the Academy cafeteria. His mind wasn’t really on what she was saying, though he was making an attempt to listen.</p>
<p>His thoughts were on Jim and his situation and also on speaking with his mother about having Jim with him and what to expect with a birth of an infant.</p>
<p>Since coming to San Francisco to enlist in Starfleet, Spock did not have as much contact with his mother as he would like. And he had no contact with his father, as his father had not approved of his choice to join Starfleet over the Vulcan Science Academy. </p>
<p>Spock had thought he was doing a decent job of responding correctly to Nyota’s conversation, but when she suddenly sighed and leaned back in her chair, sipping her strawberry soda and gazing at him speculatively, he realized he had lost the thread of the conversation entirely.</p>
<p>“I am sorry, Nyota,” Spock said preemptively. “I am having some difficulty focusing today.”</p>
<p>“I can see that. Is it Jim Kirk?”</p>
<p>Spock pursed his lips. He did not lie and so he said, “A large part of my attention is there, yes.”</p>
<p>“I just…never mind.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>Nyota shook her head. “I just hope you know what you’re doing, Spock. I don’t want you getting hurt and definitely not scammed.”</p>
<p>He blinked at her. “Scammed?”</p>
<p>“How much do you know about him or that any of what he’s telling you is true?”</p>
<p>Spock forked a bite of his salad, put it in his mouth and chewed.</p>
<p>She drummed her fingers on the table. “I’m not saying he is making stuff up or anything but…”</p>
<p>“He is carrying a child, Nyota.”</p>
<p>“For sure?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I took him to Starfleet medical and he was examined by a Doctor McCoy who confirmed the pregnancy.”</p>
<p>“Hm.” She leaned her elbows on the table and then her chin on her hand. “Unless the doctor is in on it.”</p>
<p>Spock could not help but be surprised she was so intent on her dislike of Jim that she would suggest such a thing. He did not understand.</p>
<p>“That is not the case. Jim is pregnant. And as a matter of fact, I have investigated many of his claims and found them to be quite accurate.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Well good. I’m glad you aren’t just blindly taking his word for it.”</p>
<p>“What is your objection to Jim?”</p>
<p>She shrugged. “I don’t know that I object. It’s just when I met him he seemed like such a player.”</p>
<p>“Because he hit on you.”</p>
<p>“Well…yeah.”</p>
<p>“Jim told me about the encounter. I was unaware it was unusual to hit on attractive people in bars.”</p>
<p>Nyota laughed then and leaned back in her chair again. “Well, no, it isn’t. I guess, I don’t know, he seemed a little obnoxious. Anyway, he got in a fight that night.”</p>
<p>Spock nodded. “Yes, I am aware of that too. Jim told me that several cadets interfered and he was outnumbered.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t ask for them to.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I am aware of that. But neither did Jim. And I confirmed the accuracy of his story with Captain Pike and the bartender.”</p>
<p>   “Okay, okay, I get it. You’ve done your research. I should have known better knowing you. Spock, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“I am not especially offended, Nyota, as I am aware you are only concerned for me. However, research notwithstanding, I believe that Jim has been completely honest in everything he has shared with me at this point.”</p>
<p>“That’s good. Great,” she said. “And yes, I swear I am only coming at this because of how much I care about you. He’s settling in all right, then?”</p>
<p>“Yes. I was able to obtain permission from his academic advisors to allow him to conduct many of his classes virtually from my apartment. I think that will work out well for him during these first difficult months with the morning sickness.”</p>
<p>She smiled. “You really like him, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“Indeed. He is a pleasant individual.”</p>
<p>She laughed outright. “Oh, I’m sure. But no. I mean you really like him.”</p>
<p>“I fail to understand the difference.”</p>
<p>“You know. Like you like guys. Romantically. You like Jim in a romantic way. And don’t deny it.”</p>
<p>“He is hardly in any condition to enter into a romantic relationship.”</p>
<p>“Well, as to that, I didn’t say he felt that way about you, though he might, I don’t know, I said <em>you</em> feel that way about him. You are attracted to him physically, mentally, and emotionally.”</p>
<p>Spock said nothing to that.</p>
<p>Nyota smirked. “He pushes all your buttons. Cute, smart, and in trouble. He needs you to be his hero. And you love that.”</p>
<p>“I do not. And I am no hero.”</p>
<p>“I bet he thinks differently. Remember that…”</p>
<p>“That was different. And I do not believe Jim can compare to it.”</p>
<p>“Maybe not, but that’s exactly why I was concerned. But it sounds like you have a handle on all of this, so if you do, great. And though Jim might not be ready to think romantically about you, because of what he’s going through, that doesn’t mean your interest and emotions aren’t already beginning to engage. So just…be aware.”</p>
<p>Spock couldn’t exactly deny any of that. It did concern him that he seemed to be headed somewhere he was not comfortable with very fast, but he wasn’t sure he could slow it down either.</p>
<p>“I will bear it in mind.”</p>
<p>“Gotta get to class.” She rose and went over to kiss his forehead. “See you later.”</p>
<p>Spock watched her leave and then took out his communication device to text Jim to see if he was all right.</p>
<p>And surely that was something anyone would do. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time Jim had finished his morning classes, Spock had not returned to the apartment yet. Jim figured he had later classes to attend than Jim did. For this particular day, Jim had no afternoon courses himself.</p>
<p>His stomach had settled since its issues that morning, which were milder than before, and he considered that a win, so he got up from the couch to go to the kitchen.</p>
<p>He’d had to brace his hand on the arm of the couch to lift himself up which he did not count as a win. He had several more months to go before he’d have this baby and he didn’t look forward to having more trouble moving.</p>
<p>He made himself a sandwich of sliced avocados, tomatoes, and onions with oil and vinegar dressing. He also poured himself a bowl of barbecue potato chips. He brought those to the table with his sandwich, along with iced tea, and his PADD.</p>
<p>Jim bypassed an email from a classmate that included a link to a book called <em>What to Expect When You’re Expecting</em>.  He shook his head.</p>
<p>He spent a few minutes looking up exercises for those who were pregnant and saved the links for that to study more closely at a later time. </p>
<p>And then he started trying to find Sam again. With a newer more updated PADD, Jim thought he might have more success with it.</p>
<p>He was pretty good with computers and hacking into them, so Jim thought with a few pushed into databases he wasn’t supposed to be in, he might discover something.</p>
<p>In the back of his mind as he surfed through information, Jim started wondering if he ought to have a baby shower. He didn’t really have anyone he thought might attend, though. Spock, sure, but it would be silly to ask Spock for gifts for the baby considering everything he was already doing for Jim. Aaron had no family to ask.</p>
<p>If he could locate Sam, then…</p>
<p>
  <em>George Samuel Kirk, Deneva</em>
</p>
<p>Bingo!</p>
<p>For a moment he just stared at the entry instead of opening it. Considering how Sam left things with Jim he likely wanted no contact with Jim or their mother.</p>
<p>“I can’t be a Kirk in this house,” Sam said to Jim as he left Jim behind, entirely alone with Frank.</p>
<p>Jim hadn’t seen Sam since. And Sam hadn’t made even one attempt to ever see Jim.</p>
<p>And yet, Jim clicked on the entry, his heart pounding fast.</p>
<p>
  <em>Status: Deceased. </em>
</p>
<p>Jim stared at those words until his eyes crossed.</p>
<p>
  <em>Stardate: 2263.02 </em>
</p>
<p>Then his eyes began to sting as they filled with tears.</p>
<p>Jim put down his half-eaten sandwich and pushed away the bowl of barbecue chips. He got up from the table and went to the bedroom and threw himself down on the bed.</p>
<p>Jim didn’t know how long he stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling.</p>
<p>But he heard a very soft knock and knew Spock must be home.</p>
<p>“Come in.”</p>
<p>The door was opened and Spock stepped inside, dressed in his cadet’s uniform. Jim took a very brief moment to admire the cut of Spock’s uniform. Which he had no business doing.</p>
<p>“Jim? Are you all right? I saw you hadn’t finished your lunch. Are you in pain? Are you unwell?”</p>
<p>Jim squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Spock sit on the edge of the bed.</p>
<p>“Jim? Are you in need of emergency care?”</p>
<p>“No,” he whispered. He opened his eyes just as Spock used his thumb to brush at a tear on Jim’s cheek. “How-how was your day?”</p>
<p>“Never mind that. What is wrong?”</p>
<p>“I’m being stupid, I guess.” Jim struggled to sit up in the bed. In the end it was too hard without help, so he grabbed Spock’s arm to help hoist himself up.</p>
<p>“Will you explain?”</p>
<p>“I haven’t seen my brother since I was thirteen and he left home. He was a few years older than me and had enough of Frank. Mom was on the Excelsior even then. So when Sam left, I was left behind with Frank. Like I told you before, he wasn’t a nice man.”</p>
<p>“He hurt you physically?”</p>
<p>“Most of the time, no. He was all about verbally knocking you down.” Jim blew out a breath. “Mom and me know how to pick ‘em.”</p>
<p>“Meaning?”</p>
<p>“Aaron. Well, when he drank, he got mean too. Only his abuse wasn’t just verbal.” Jim bit his lip. “Anyway, none of that matters. That’s all ancient history now, I guess. This is about Sam.”  </p>
<p>“Your brother.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I had this…really stupid idea. Like I don’t know we were going to have this big family reunion and he would be happy about the baby and come to my shower and just…” His eyes welled with tears again.</p>
<p>“Jim,” Spock said gently.</p>
<p>And Jim didn’t know how it happened. Whether Spock reached for him or he threw his arms around Spock. But suddenly he was being held by Spock and as hugs went, it was really nice.</p>
<p>He closed his eyes and leaned his head on Spock’s shoulders.</p>
<p>“I take it Sam is not interested in a reunion.”</p>
<p>“Well, he’s dead. No definitely not. And I just…I feel idiotic for even caring.”</p>
<p>“You are not an idiot and of course you care. I…likewise have a brother I have not seen for many years.”</p>
<p>Jim pulled back to look at Spock in surprise. “Yeah? What happened to him?”</p>
<p>“My father chased him away.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Well. That really sucks, Spock.”</p>
<p>Spock nodded. “It does. But caring about your family, even if they are not around, or even if they do not care about you, does not make you an idiot. You feel all right otherwise?”</p>
<p>Jim smiled a little. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. Thanks. That…that hug. It really helped.”</p>
<p>“You are welcome. If you are still hungry, you can come finish your lunch. We can have tea and I will tell you about my day.”  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim was turning the corner of an aisle in the grocery store the next afternoon when he heard three cadets talking about him. He recognized them as the ones who had picked a fight with him at the bar back home.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you remember him, Billy. He was that punk we taught a lesson to in Riverside. The one with the smart mouth and no class.”</p>
<p>“Oh right. The one who thought he had a chance with Uhura. Yeah. I remember him for a few months on campus always running around like he was lost.” Laughter. “Loser. Haven’t seen him there lately though.”</p>
<p>The first one, Hendorff, Jim thought, snorted.</p>
<p>“I can tell you why. He’s here in the store. I saw him come in a little bit ago with that Vulcan student. Fool’s carrying.”</p>
<p>“Carrying?”</p>
<p>“<em>Pregnant</em>, you moron. God knows where <em>that</em> came from.”</p>
<p>“You think the Vulcan?”</p>
<p>“Nah, I don’t think so. Spock has more sense than that from what I’ve seen. Kirk probably doesn’t know himself. You know his type. Spreads it around.”</p>
<p>Jim sighed and was about to turn around and go the other way when he came face to face with Spock who wore a stone cold expression that sent chills up Jim’s spine. And he was about to head past Jim and to the cadets.</p>
<p>“No.” Jim put his hand on Spock’s rigid arm and moved him off the aisle. He was impressed that Spock let him move him. “No. They aren’t worth it.”</p>
<p>“I detest bullies.”</p>
<p>“Me, too.” He shook his head. “I used to…nah. Never mind.”</p>
<p>“What, Jim?”</p>
<p>“I thought when I got to become a starship captain I’d show idiots like that.” He smiled wryly. “Like that’s going to happen now.”</p>
<p>“I would not entirely dismiss it yet,” Spock said gently. “But I appreciate the sentiment that the best revenge is a well-lived life.”</p>
<p>Jim laughed. “Or you know, kicking their asses as their captain.”</p>
<p>“That too.” Spock glanced back at the aisle. “Are you certain you do not wish me to speak to them on your behalf?”</p>
<p>“They’re dumber than dirt, Spock. They’ll never get it no matter what you say to them.”</p>
<p>Spock pursed his lips. “I could use more persuasive methods.”</p>
<p>Jim lifted both eyebrows. “Are you suggesting I encourage you to beat them up?”</p>
<p>The Vulcan shrugged.</p>
<p>“Like I said, they aren’t worth it.”</p>
<p>“Very well. Did you obtain the frozen pizza you were in search of?”</p>
<p>“I never made it there because of the Stooges.”</p>
<p>Spock nodded. “Let’s go together.”</p>
<p>Jim felt a little better going down the aisle with Spock but as it happened Hendorff and his cronies had left, and the aisle was empty.</p>
<p>He headed to the freezer with the pizza and opened it to remove one.</p>
<p>“Best to get two. Then we won’t have to return as quickly,” Spock told him. “More ice cream?”</p>
<p>Jim bit his lip. “Well…”</p>
<p>Spock went into the ice cream freezer to select two more quarts of ice cream. He held up his hand when Jim opened his mouth.</p>
<p>“Save it.”</p>
<p>Jim laughed. “But…”</p>
<p>“We really do not need to go through the whole ‘I can never repay you’ argument once more. Trust me.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” Jim nodded. “But…”</p>
<p>Spock gave him a look. Jim smiled.</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>“You are welcome.”</p>
<p>After they got everything and completed the purchase, they left the store and walked back toward Spock’s apartment. It was a nice sunny and mild day and Jim felt pretty sickness free for the first time in what felt like forever.</p>
<p>It was a Saturday and neither of them had classes and their shopping trip and walk felt so normal, Jim started fantasizing what it would be like to actually be one half of a couple with Spock. Wished for a fleeting moment that his baby was Spock’s and not Aaron’s, though he felt vaguely disloyal to Aaron’s memory to even have that thought.</p>
<p>“Are you all right, Jim?</p>
<p>Jim forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. I feel good.”</p>
<p>“I am glad. But you seemed a little sad just now.”</p>
<p>He shook his head. “Just thinking of lost opportunities. Aaron.”</p>
<p>“It must be difficult carrying on without him.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I mean in a way. But the truth was, things were going really sour with us. He had a drinking problem and I was probably going to end things if he wouldn’t get help. I never had that conversation though because of what happened. If he had lived and wouldn’t get help? I don’t even know what would happen with the baby. I’d have to keep him away from the baby. I didn’t need or want another Frank.”</p>
<p>They had reached the apartment and were headed up the stairs, something Jim was determined to continue using over the lift as long as he could.</p>
<p>“If he was physically abusive, he might have gotten worse,” Spock murmured.</p>
<p>“Yeah. Like I said before. My mom and I sure knew how to pick ‘em. Truth is I should have left Aaron before, but you get into this pattern of abuse and you just can’t stop. You think, oh it’ll change, they’ll change, you know they’re always sorry. Except they aren’t. Not really. It’s all lies. Aaron was abused too as a child and he went through that pattern himself, I guess, and he could never get out of it. Never break it.”</p>
<p>Spock let them in the door and into the apartment.</p>
<p>“But you have.”</p>
<p>“Frank was mostly just an asshole to me. Beat me down with words, emotions. I think there was one time he raised his hand to me, but I blocked it, which surprised him, and he backed down. Never did it again.”</p>
<p>Spock exhaled. “You are well rid of both of them if I may so say. And I do apologize if that is insensitive.”</p>
<p>Jim smiled and put the bags down in the kitchen. “Nah. Don’t. You’re right. And I’ve met you. Things are looking up for me. In a big way.”</p>
<p>Spock’s eyes were warm as he met Jim’s gaze. “And for me as well.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock checked on Jim after they’d returned home from the grocery store and he went to take a nap. He was still sleeping, so Spock went back out to his living room, sat at his terminal, and contacted his mother.</p><p>It was time to tell her about the changes in his life.</p><p>Spock did not have a lot of contact with his father, but he maintained frequent contact with his mother. He was aware her continued support of his unorthodox choices was a matter of contention in her marriage and he did try to be circumspect in the amount of times he troubled her.</p><p>“Spock!” She greeted him with a warm smile. “I was just getting myself some tea. Have you got some also?”</p><p>He fought the answering smile tugging at his lips. “I do.”</p><p>“And a tea biscuit.” She laughed as she bit into one. “Or two.”</p><p>“I do not have those,” Spock admitted.</p><p>“Can’t get them there?”</p><p>He shook his head. “I have made no real attempt.”</p><p>“Ah, yes, one of my human indulgences.”</p><p>“There is nothing illogical about indulging your favorite foods.” Spock paused. “No matter what Sarek may say.”</p><p>She waved that away. “I’ve long since stopped listening to his objections. What a welcome surprise it is to hear from you. I thought I would not for another couple of weeks.”</p><p>Spock poured himself a cup of his steeped tea as he gathered his thoughts. His terminal was by a window in the apartment so he looked outside at the gathering clouds, calculating the chances of rain later.</p><p>“I have news.”</p><p>“Oh. Well. That is something then.”</p><p>“I have a new friend.”</p><p>“How lovely. What’s her name?”</p><p>Spock inwardly rolled his eyes. “It is not a female. I have a male friend.”</p><p>“Oh.” Her eyes, so warm and brown, like his, apparently, or his like hers, widened. “A-a romantic friend then?”</p><p>“No,” Spock said, firmly. Then with an exhale. “At least…not yet.”</p><p>“But you do like him?”</p><p>“I enjoy his company.”</p><p>Mother laughed. “So evasive. Tell me about him.”</p><p>“His name is Jim Kirk and he is a cadet at the Academy.”</p><p>“Hm. Why does that name ring bells?”</p><p>“His father was the famous Captain George Kirk killed in the war games on Eminiar VII.”</p><p>She bit her lip. “Oh dear.”</p><p>“Indeed. Currently he is staying with me at my apartment.”</p><p>She blinked at him. “Oh. Well. That is definitely news. You not only have a new friend but a roommate. I wasn’t aware you were in the market for a roommate.”</p><p>“I was not. Jim is rather down on his luck and I am assisting him.” Spock hesitated and glanced in the direction of the bedroom, but there was no sign Jim would emerge any time soon. “He is pregnant.”</p><p>“Oh my. You aren’t…?”</p><p>Spock found himself blushing which was ridiculous. “Of course not. We only just became acquainted. His partner was killed in a hover bike accident. He was left basically destitute and homeless. I could hardly let that continue.”</p><p>She smiled. “Of course you couldn’t. And he must be very special to have caught your attention so thoroughly.”</p><p>Spock hid his face behind his teacup. “He is.”</p><p>“Then I absolutely cannot wait to meet him.” She picked up another tea biscuit. “As it happens, we are traveling to San Francisco at the end of the month for your father’s ambassadorial duties and I would love to spend some time with you and getting to know Jim. It sounds like he’s going to be part of your life at least for the foreseeable future. Is there anything you need before we come?”</p><p>Spock shook his head. “Not that I am aware of. I look forward to your visit.”</p><p>“Me too. And even more so now. I’d better run for now, darling. See you soon.”</p><p>Their conversation ended and Spock stood up, once more going to the bedroom to check on Jim.</p><p>He still slept.</p><p>Spock walked silently over to the bed to peer at him. He looked so young and vulnerable in sleep. He had an arm wrapped around his stomach and another tucked under his pillow.</p><p>He was about to turn around when Jim opened his eyes.</p><p>“Spock?”</p><p>“Yes, Jim. I didn’t mean to wake you. I was merely seeing if you were still asleep.”</p><p>Jim yawned and smiled. “Nah, you didn’t. I think I was having a bad dream.”</p><p>“Do you remember it?”</p><p>Jim scrunched up his face. “No. Just kind of fleeting negative energy.”</p><p>“Did you want to get up?”</p><p>“I guess. Unless…”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Jim smiled and shook his head. “Nothing. I just thought I could maybe if you were next to me for a bit, it might help me fall back asleep.”</p><p>“You would want me to lie beside you?”</p><p>“Sure. Why not? This is your bed even. But it’s okay if you don’t want to.”</p><p>Spock hesitated only a moment for he knew he could very quickly get used to such a thing. Such closeness with Jim.</p><p>“Hey, Spock, you don’t have to think that hard about it, really. It’s okay if you don’t want to. Honest.”</p><p>“Scoot over,” Spock said.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Yes. I am not one who usually naps, but if my presence helps…”</p><p>He placed himself on the bed next to Jim, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. He felt a little strange. And he was aware of Jim smiling as he stared at Spock’s face.</p><p>He turned his head to look at Jim.</p><p>“This okay?” Jim asked.</p><p>“Yes. Just…illogical.”</p><p>“As soon as I fall asleep it’s okay to leave.”</p><p>But a short time later when he heard Jim’s breathing change, and saw him sleeping, for he continued to watch him, Spock did not move. He continued to lie there with Jim.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Jim woke it was to the realization that Spock lay beside him still and that Spock’s arm was now slung around his waist. The Vulcan lay on his side and was facing Jim, who had also turned on to his side to face Spock.</p><p>Jim didn’t move because he didn’t want to wake Spock up. It could get awkward for both of them, sure, but more than that Jim was enjoying Spock having his arm around him. He felt protected, secure, comforted.</p><p>He also knew he had no right to feel any of those things with Spock. Spock was simply a super nice guy who was probably way more kind to Jim than Jim deserved. On the other hand it didn’t seem completely terrible to just lie here with Spock for a moment, anyway.</p><p>Somehow he must have fallen back asleep because when he woke again, he was alone. He also had no right to be disappointed with that either.</p><p>“Knock it off, Jim,” he told himself. “Spock’s just a great guy, he’s not your boyfriend or anything.”</p><p>He got out of bed, rubbing his eyes, and went to use the bathroom.</p><p>When he went out to the living room of the apartment, Spock was standing next to the door, carrying a book bag.</p><p>“I heard you were awake,” Spock explained. “I would have left a note otherwise. I am going to the Academy library for some study work with Nyota.”</p><p>Jim nodded. “All right.”</p><p>“I will be back in time to prepare dinner.”</p><p>“You don’t have to,” Jim said. “If you’d like to stay out longer or whatever. Have dinner with your friend, I can fix something.”</p><p>Spock inclined his head. “Then I will play it by ear. Should I decide to dine with Nyota, I will notify you.”</p><p>Jim smiled. “Okay, see you later.”</p><p>After Spock left, Jim felt a little funny in the apartment alone. Not that he hadn’t been before, of course he had, but he was feeling rather emotional and melancholy. He tried watching some television, but gave it up and decided to go out himself for a walk.</p><p>He ended up at the park about a mile from Spock’s apartment and lowered himself onto a bench that overlooked a duck pond.</p><p>He was feeling a little isolated. The truth was he hadn’t made a lot of friends since arriving there. He’d met Aaron and then ended up doing stuff mostly with Aaron’s friends, and then when Aaron died, none of his friends cared about Jim anymore. And really, he hadn’t cared much about them either, to be fair.</p><p>Being pregnant, he didn’t have a lot in common with his classmates at the Academy either. He had Spock as a friend, but when Spock met with Spock’s friends, he had never invited Jim along except for that one breakfast in the beginning with Nyota. Jim was sure it was because she didn’t like him.</p><p>And finding Sam had been fruitless. He was sad at the loss of his brother, but the reality was that he was in no different situation than he had been before. He’d lost Sam back when Sam left the farmhouse.</p><p>He still couldn’t reach his mom on her ship either.</p><p>And coming out here was supposed to make him feel better with the fresh air and stuff, not worse, he thought wryly.</p><p>With a shake of his head at his own foolishness, Jim got up and left the park, passing by an animal shelter on the way. He stopped at the sign.</p><p>
  <em>Today Only. Free Adoptions.</em>
</p><p>Oh no. He couldn’t.</p><p>Yet, he found himself walking through the door.</p><p>A lady with horn-rimmed glasses sat behind a desk. She looked at him.</p><p>“Can I help you, Cutie?”</p><p>“Uh.” Jim blushed. “Nah. Not really.”</p><p>“What kind of pet were you looking for? Dogs are to the left, Cats to the right.”</p><p>“Well. Wouldn’t hurt to look,” he said, tentatively.</p><p>“Of course not. Adoptions are free today though. They all have their shots and have been spayed or neutered. They come with a bag of food and water and food dishes. And the kitties come with a litter box and litter too.” She frowned. “Your spouse should scoop the litter, though, Cutie, not you.”</p><p>“Oh. I’m not…I mean…I’m not really intending to adopt or anything.”</p><p>She smiled. “Sure sure. Have a look.”</p><p>Jim went to the right first, drawn to the cats for whatever reason. He guessed because he’d heard once about Vulcans and cats being somehow related. Crazy, of course.</p><p>He managed to pass a few cats without too many twinges, but then at the last row, on the right, was a fluffy black kitten with big eyes and particularly pointy ears.</p><p>Jim smiled. “You sure are cute.”</p><p>The kitten mewed. He looked at the information paper on the outside of the cage. It said the kitten was a little girl of about ten weeks old.</p><p>“I can’t have you,” Jim told her as she mewed and mewed at him, rubbing against the cage. “No, no, I mean it. Spock would toss me out and who could blame him?”</p><p>She stopped and stared at him, cocking her head, blinking her eyes at him, in Morse Code for “oh please” Jim was sure.</p><p>“That’s the one, huh, Cutie?” the lady from the front asked, coming down the aisle toward him. “Not surprised. She steals the hearts of the hardest, coldest people, let alone a softie like you. What do you say?”</p><p>“If I take her, I’ll probably be homeless again.”</p><p>The lady laughed. Agnes it said on her tag. “No, no. A cutie like you with another cutie like her. Your spouse doesn’t stand a chance. You’ll be fine. Let’s do the paperwork.”</p><p>She turned and walked back up the aisle and Jim followed her, cursing himself for a fool.</p><p>****</p><p>“All right, Tabitha, this is your new home.”</p><p>Jim put the kitten on the floor, right after putting all the things down that the shelter had given him to take.  She crouched down low, butt in the air.</p><p>“You are too cute. And when we’re homeless together, maybe that will work in my favor.” Jim sighed. “I really am stupid. He’s going to kill me.”</p><p>He heard the door activate and Jim took a step back as it opened, and Spock stepped in.</p><p>“Jim?” Spock frowned.</p><p>“Uh. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I-I don’t know what I was thinking. I was-I was just walking by and I felt like I needed a friend and before I knew what I was doing I let this lady talk me into getting her. I know it was wrong. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“Jim. Calm down. What is wrong?”</p><p>He took another step back and without realizing it raised his arms in front of him.</p><p>Spock’s eyes widened. “Jim, I would never hit you.”</p><p>“I-I know that. I know.”</p><p>Spock looked down. “There is a kitten crawling up my leg.”</p><p>“Oops. Yeah sorry.”</p><p>Spock bent down and detached Tabitha from his pants leg. The kitten swung her paw at Spock. His lips twitched. “Is this little one what the fuss is all about?”</p><p>“Yeah. I adopted her. Didn’t cost anything. I know it was stupid and I didn’t ask you first.”</p><p>“Jim, I do not have a problem with you having a pet. And while it is true that you did not ask first, I am not angry. And even if I had been, I still would not hit you. I am not Aaron or your stepfather.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>The kitten was now purring as Spock brought her closer to him. “She is adorable.”</p><p>Jim smiled. “She is. That’s why I couldn’t resist. But I could have asked you first. I’m sorry. I got kind of carried away. Her name is Tabitha. And um, shoot, I’m not supposed to scoop her litter because of the…”</p><p>“Yes, I am aware.”</p><p>“I can take her back if you want me to.”</p><p>“That would be ridiculous.” Spock handed the purring fluffball to Jim. “I am sorry if you felt abandoned today. That was not my intent.”</p><p>Jim shook his head. “No, not at all. You have a right to do whatever you want, don’t mind me. I think, I just get a little emotional, probably because of the pregnancy. It’s kind of playing havoc with stuff. And I just realized that most of the friends I made in San Francisco were friends with Aaron, not me. Sucks, but I only have myself to blame for isolating myself from everyone else. I guess Aaron made me a bit of an idiot.”</p><p>“I do wish you would cease calling yourself stupid and an idiot, Jim. You aren’t either. You just made an error in judgment. We are all capable of that. And though love with Aaron did not ultimately work out, you will always have a child to love. So there can be no regrets.”</p><p>Tabitha wiggled so much Jim put her back on the floor and Jim once more found himself smiling and feeling so happy to have met Spock.</p><p>He embraced Spock again, not really thinking about it, just needing to hug him, because he was so great, and he was even more glad when he felt Spock’s arms close around his back.</p><p>“Thank you. You’re the absolute best thing that’s ever happened to me.”</p><p>And Jim meant it.</p><p>He pulled back and out of Spock’s arms, feeling that his cheeks were a little warm again, which probably meant his stupid fair skin was causing him to blush. But he thought he saw a little answering green tint to Spock’s cheeks too.</p><p>The Vulcan looked down at the kitten and all of her stuff.</p><p>“Let’s get your new friend settled, and as it happens, I did not dine with Nyota, so I will make us dinner.”</p><p>“Sounds perfect.”</p><p>Perhaps a little domestic, too. Jim could definitely get used to that. Which was likely not a good thing. But for now, Jim decided not to worry about it. It was what it was.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The problem with having Jim staying with him, if indeed there was a problem, and Spock couldn’t really think of it that way, was that Spock was becoming really quite enamored with him.</p><p>Spock was a fairly logical being and there was simply no point in denial or lying to himself about it. Jim was immensely physically attractive and otherwise appealing in every way, highly intelligent, charming, vulnerable, funny. There really wasn’t much he could find that was not to his liking. Perhaps Jim’s ability to argue with absolutely everything, but Spock decided he was rather a lost cause when he began to find even that endearing.</p><p>And now Jim had a fuzzy little black kitten that had decided to fall asleep in Jim’s lap while they watched a program on Spock’s entertainment screen related to native plants and animals that could be found on the planet, Rigel 3. Jim had stayed awake through the first four parts, but as part five of the program started, Jim’s eyelids got heavier and heavier until he too conked out halfway in the middle of that part. He ended up leaning against Spock, who absolutely would not move either of them unless San Francisco had another big earthquake.</p><p>It was nearly midnight, though, when the final part, seven, finished, and Spock reluctantly decided he should at least wake Jim up to move to the bed.</p><p>Still, for a long time he just sat on the sofa enjoying the feeling of Jim using him for rest. He contemplated during this time as to whether he should admit to Jim the shift of his friendly feelings to something certainly stronger.</p><p>Spock did not want to make anything awkward between them nor did he wish to make Jim feel that he could no longer stay there with Spock. On the other hand, should Jim be feeling similar yearnings toward him, Spock might not know unless he put himself out there.</p><p>It was a conundrum.</p><p>The kitten stirred then, lightly sticking her prickly claws into Jim’s leg, which had him waking with a start.</p><p>“Easy, easy,” Spock murmured. “You are both all right.”</p><p>Jim blinked rapidly, looked down at the kitten who stared back at him with big wide eyes. “Furball,” Jim said, affectionately.</p><p>He patted her head and she jumped off the sofa and bounced away.</p><p>“Ahhh.” Jim yawned, stretching. “Fell asleep. Is that Rigel 3 thing over?”</p><p>“Indeed. And I appreciate you indulging me as much as you did. It could not have been that interesting for you.”</p><p>Jim smiled. “Nah, it was cool. Liked seeing the kinds of things that interest you. I like different perspectives. I’m just…I get tired easier than I used to.”</p><p>Spock nodded. “No doubt to be expected. I was about to wake you so that you could move to the bed when the kitten did so for me.”</p><p>He laughed. “She’s a cutie pie. Thank you for letting me keep her.”</p><p>“It is no trouble.”</p><p>“A little trouble,” Jim said. “Like, um, the litter box.”</p><p>Spock shook his head, faintly amused. “I am not above scooping litter.”</p><p>“Well.”</p><p>“I had a pet growing up on Vulcan. Of a sort.”</p><p>“Yeah? What?”</p><p>“A sehlat. One my father had before I was born. Not exactly cuddly in the way Tabitha is and the claws were definitely more wicked.”</p><p>Jim laughed again. “I bet that didn’t involve litter boxes.”</p><p>“No, that is quite true.” Spock stood and reached a hand down to help pull Jim to his feet. Jim smiled his thanks as they stood so close their faces were mere inches apart. “Jim. I…”</p><p>“What?” Jim pressed when Spock didn’t continue. </p><p>Spock cleared his throat. “Did you want anything to eat or drink before going to bed?”</p><p>There was a slight shift in the expression on Jim’s face but Spock couldn’t have said what it was, just that it was noticeable.</p><p>“Nope, I’m good.”</p><p>Spock found himself following Jim to the bedroom and hovering by the open doorway once he did. If he didn’t watch out, Jim was going to begin to think of him as odd.</p><p>“Goodnight then, Jim.”</p><p>Jim turned back to look at him. “Hey, Spock. If you-I mean this bed is pretty big. And we didn’t have any issues sharing it before during our nap. So, if you want…”</p><p>Spock did, but—</p><p>“I do not wish to make you uncomfortable.”</p><p>“It wouldn’t. I, um, I liked it.” Jim looked away and his face was red.</p><p>Just then, Tabitha leaped onto the bed, proudly placing herself in the middle.</p><p>Jim laughed. “See, she doesn’t object to sharing the bed. Why would you?”</p><p>“I am hardly a cat.”</p><p>But then Spock wanted to kick himself. Why was he objecting when it absolutely was what he wished to do? Sometimes his ability to spite himself was amazing.</p><p>“However, if you do not object, then yes, I would like to utilize the bed. It is more comfortable than the sofa bed.”</p><p>“I’m sure it is. I’m just going to go into the bathroom and get ready.”</p><p>Jim grabbed his pajamas and disappeared into the bathroom.</p><p>Spock sat upon the edge of the bed and reached over to pet the kitten. Tabitha began to purr so he picked her up. She rubbed his chin with the top of her head.</p><p>“You are too cute,” Spock told her. “And so is he.”</p><p>She put a paw on his chin and he was glad that her claws were not out.</p><p>Spock sighed. “And I am hopeless.”</p><p>“What was that?” Jim asked, coming out of the bathroom.</p><p>“Nothing. I am just marveling at myself for being clearly wrapped around the paw of this tiny cat.”</p><p>Jim chuckled. “Yeah, you’re a softie, all right. But it’s okay. We like you that way.”</p><p>Spock found himself resisting a smile. “I like you too. And now I must get ready for bed myself.”</p><p>He put the kitten down and stood.</p><p>Jim lifted back the covers and got in. “We’ll be waiting.”</p><p>Spock swallowed, nodded, grabbed his sleeping robe, and disappeared into the bathroom himself.   </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock was surprised to wake up to an empty bed. Light streamed in through the window of his bedroom. There was a dent in the pillow next to him and Jim’s scent still lingered.</p>
<p>“Jim?”</p>
<p>There was no immediate answer, but Spock quickly noted the bedroom door was closed. They’d left it open the night before, so Spock assumed Jim had closed it so as not to disturb him when he rose.</p>
<p>Spock blinked himself more awake and sat up in bed. It was then he spotted next to his feet, Tabitha curled into a ball. Apparently Jim was the only one who had risen early.</p>
<p>He swung himself out of bed, trying not to disturb the kitten, and went into his bathroom. The shower was still sprinkled with water, so he’d guessed Jim already had his shower. All of these were good signs that Jim’s morning sickness issues had much improved.</p>
<p>Spock took a very fast shower himself, spent a moment drying his hair, and then pulled on casual trousers and a sweater.</p>
<p>When he pushed open the door, he heard the sounds of Jim moving around in the kitchen, which for some reason filled Spock with unexpected warmth. Once more he was surprised at the depth of his affection for Jim already.</p>
<p>“Jim?”</p>
<p>Jim turned and smiled at him. He was by the stove and had several pans out to cook with. “Good morning, Spock. How did you sleep?”</p>
<p>“Quite well, actually.”</p>
<p>“I guess you just sleep better with me next to you,” Jim said with a laugh.</p>
<p>Spock knew Jim was just kidding, and yet…</p>
<p>“Indeed, perhaps I do.”</p>
<p>Jim gave him an indecipherable look and then turned back to the stove. “I’m making breakfast. Just some pancakes and potatoes. Sit down there and I’ll bring you some tea.”</p>
<p>Spock hesitated. Jim was the pregnant one. Shouldn’t Spock be looking after him?</p>
<p>Jim turned to look back at him, questioningly. “Well?”</p>
<p>“Shouldn’t I be…”</p>
<p>“I feel fine. There’s nothing wrong with me. Well, I mean I’m going to have a baby, but that’s not wrong.”</p>
<p>“It is not. But your morning sickness?”</p>
<p>“Mostly gone. I feel good. Sit.”</p>
<p>Spock did and a few minutes later, Jim brought him a mug of tea and then a plate of pancakes and fried potatoes with onions and peppers.  He brought a second plate for himself and sat beside Spock.</p>
<p>Jim smiled at him as he forked a bite. “I wanted to pay you back some for you helping me so much.”</p>
<p>“I need no repayment.”</p>
<p>“I know. But still…I actually…there’s a little market down on the corner with a help wanted sign, part time work, and I thought…”</p>
<p>“Jim,” Spock quickly interrupted. “You already have your time filled with Academy courses and your pregnancy. I do not think a part time job is required.”</p>
<p>Jim sighed. “But aren’t I kidding myself about the Academy?”</p>
<p>“No, you are not. I thought we had already been through this.”</p>
<p>Jim toyed with the pancakes on his plate. “I guess. I just…I don’t like being a burden.”</p>
<p>“You are not a burden.”</p>
<p>“Sure I am. Some strange, weird guy who just shows up having a baby, and I just…you’re such a great guy, Spock. You have everything going for yourself. You’re independent, gorgeous, brilliant, friends who defend you, you have everything together, and I have <em>nothing</em> together.”</p>
<p>Spock reached over and took hold of Jim’s hand. “You are trying. You are taking care of yourself and studying and attending school. Everything will get better, Jim. It has already begun.”</p>
<p>Jim bit his lip. “Maybe.”</p>
<p>“Jim, I…the truth is…” Spock stopped. If he revealed more tender feelings for Jim, what if it made Jim so uncomfortable, he wanted to leave? Perhaps it was all right to take such benefits from Spock if they just had a friendly relationship. Nothing particularly deep. That might be just what Jim needed or expected. And Spock projecting more—</p>
<p>“What, Spock?”</p>
<p>Spock met the intensity of Jim’s blue eyes. “I have developed certain feelings toward you.”</p>
<p>“Feelings?”</p>
<p>“Of-of a romantic inclination.” Spock lowered his gaze, feeling his skin turn warm and prickly. But he didn’t let go of Jim’s hand.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>Jim’s voice was very quiet, and Spock could not figure out what that meant.</p>
<p>He dared to look up at Jim once more, feeling inordinately shy.</p>
<p>But Jim wore a sweet smile that turned the heart in Spock’s side upside down. A fanciful thought. Especially for a Vulcan.</p>
<p>“I thought it was just me.”</p>
<p>“What?” Spock whispered.</p>
<p>Jim caressed Spock’s hand with his thumb. “Those romantic feelings.”</p>
<p>“Then you…share them?”</p>
<p>Jim nodded very slowly. “Can I kiss you?”</p>
<p>Spock let out a long breath. “Yes.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim turned the index and middle fingers of his hand until he was caressing the pads of Spock’s similar fingers. He could see the surprise in Spock’s dark brown eyes.</p>
<p>“A Vulcan kiss,” he whispered to Spock. His insides were all aflutter. There was significant warmth where their fingers touched, which didn’t altogether surprise Jim as his body temperature was always rather warm.</p>
<p>But Spock looked down at their touching fingers, the color high in his cheeks.</p>
<p>“I was unaware you knew of the significance.”</p>
<p>“I guess I’m full of surprises.”</p>
<p>“Indeed. Perhaps now, we can try another type of kiss.”</p>
<p>A laugh bubbled up inside him. “Perhaps.” He was about to get up from his chair to move closer to Spock, but Spock stopped him.</p>
<p>“Allow me.”</p>
<p>Spock rose and then knelt on the floor next to Jim’s chair. He took Jim’s hands in his and leaned up toward Jim’s lips as Jim leaned down. Spock framed Jim’s jaw with his hands. Jim closed his eyes as Spock’s lips, soft and warm, touched his, in probably the sweetest kiss he could remember. It was not demanding in any way. It was just fulfilling and filled with a lot of promise of many things to come.</p>
<p>When Spock pulled back, his hands still gently cupping Jim’s face, he spoke, “All right?”</p>
<p>“Very all right.”</p>
<p>Spock’s thumb brushed Jim’s bottom lip. “All of this is so very unexpected.”</p>
<p>“For me too,” Jim admitted. “After Aaron and…I don’t know, having a baby, I never expected or really even wanted to fall in love.”</p>
<p>“And that is what you have done?”</p>
<p>“Uh-huh. Crazy huh?”</p>
<p>“No more than I. I have not had luck with romantic partners. They expect certain things out of me that I seem unable to give to them. And yet…with you I feel…”</p>
<p>“Feel what?”</p>
<p>“At all,” Spock replied. “And all. Everything. Such protectiveness, such tenderness. I want nothing more than to ensure you and your child are safe from anything that might harm you. It is all very illogical.”</p>
<p>“Then we can be illogical together,” Jim replied with a laugh.</p>
<p>Spock’s color was still high, his eyes were shining as though filled with moisture, but there was none that Jim could see. They were like obsidian.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Spock said. “I would like that very much.”</p>
<p>And he leaned up to place another soft kiss upon Jim’s mouth, perhaps a bit more insistent than the first but still sweet and chaste.</p>
<p>“I have thoughts about…our compatibility.”</p>
<p>Jim looked a question. “Compatibility?”</p>
<p>“Our minds. They are very attuned, I believe. I will need to do more research.”</p>
<p>Jim nodded. He didn’t understand it much, but he guessed he didn’t need to. Not at this point. He leaned down to kiss Spock again when he felt the tiniest touch of a paw on his leg.</p>
<p>He laughed and looked down at the kitten who apparently finally woke up and came out to join them.</p>
<p>“Probably somebody’s hungry.”</p>
<p>Spock looked at Tabitha. “Yes. You stay there. I will feed her.”</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>A couple of days later, Spock stopped at the market on his way home from the Academy. Jim had mentioned a craving for a grilled cheese sandwich with tomatoes and mustard and the kitten needed more food.</p>
<p>He was rounding the corner of the snack aisle, having just chosen several items of interest he believed Jim would enjoy, when he spotted the cadets that had spoken unkindly about Jim before. Hendorff was the one Spock could recall the name of, as he had him as a fellow student in a class. though he had never been particularly impressed with the man’s academic performance. He hadn’t ever known the other cadets’ names.</p>
<p>Seeing them filled him with disgust, actually. Jim was likely right that they were unworthy of his physical ire, but that did not mean he didn’t feel the need to put them in their place where Jim was concerned.</p>
<p>Hendorff noticed him and called out a greeting. “Spock, right?”</p>
<p>“That is correct.”</p>
<p>“How’s it going?” Hendorff asked, in an effort to be polite, Spock guessed, but the effort was wasted.</p>
<p>One of the others looked at Spock with a smirk. “Nice to see you aren’t hanging out with that idiot Kirk today.”</p>
<p>“Hush,” Hendorff whispered, clearly having more sense than his friend.</p>
<p>“What? I’m just saying. I’m guessing Spock here was smart enough to dump him on the street where he belongs.”</p>
<p>Spock stared at him for several seconds, and then said, carefully, “If I ever hear you speak about him again in any way, and no matter where you are when you do, I will know, I will arrange the total and complete destruction of your Starfleet career.”</p>
<p>The cadet stared at him. “<em>What</em>?”</p>
<p>“When I leave here today, as it is, I intend to file a report with the Academic Advisors at the Academy regarding behavior unbecoming to future officers of Starfleet. How it was that you did not face charges due to your assault of Mr. Kirk, I cannot fathom, but I intend to see that you do not get away with it unscathed.”</p>
<p>The cadet turned red. “What? Are you crazy? You stupid Vulcan asshole, who do you think…?”</p>
<p>Spock put his hand on the cadet between his shoulder and neck and squeezed. The cadet dropped to the floor of the aisle, knocking down bags of chips as he went.</p>
<p>Spock looked at the other two. “Anything else you have to say?”</p>
<p>Hendorff and the other third cadet quickly shook their heads.</p>
<p>Spock turned and left the aisle.</p>
<p>After he paid for his purchases, he spoke to the clerk, “There is a cleanup on aisle nine. Good day.”</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The thing of it was, whenever Spock was gone, Jim had doubts. Not about his own feelings, but Spock’s, of course.</p><p>Each and every time Spock came home, Jim held his breath, waiting for the Vulcan to say that he’d been wrong and all he felt for Jim was friendship.</p><p>It never happened, and Jim relaxed a little, but not entirely.</p><p>Aaron had done quite the number on him. With the drinking and the violence and cheating, yeah, he had. Aaron wasn’t all bad, Jim didn’t want to say that. But the  further away from Aaron and his death, the less he could remember what good things there were about Aaron.</p><p>Spock was a saint, really. And the more time Jim spent with him, the more he fell head over heels, which of course caused him to worry all over again. He wasn’t used to good things, and he really was a mess.</p><p>When Spock came home with a few bags of groceries, looking vaguely…affronted, Jim decided, he wondered what had caused the look or the mood. It wasn’t at all that Spock was emotionless as some might claim. But he held things close to the chest and showed nothing, generally, but Jim, even in this short time, noticed things.</p><p>He hoisted himself off the couch, ignoring Tabitha’s protest as she was ousted out of his lap.</p><p>“Spock? Everything okay?”</p><p>“Yes, Jim.” Spock walked directly into the kitchen with his purchases and after a few seconds hesitation, Jim followed him.</p><p>“Have a good day?”</p><p>“It was acceptable.” Spock began to remove his purchases from the reusable bags. Jim noticed he’d gotten the ingredients for the cheese sandwich Jim had mentioned as well as food for the kitten, and several other things, Jim’s ice cream among them.</p><p>“Okay. What’s wrong?”</p><p>Spock blinked, stopped what he was doing, and turned toward Jim who leaned against the kitchen counter. “Wrong?”</p><p>“Uh-huh. Something has you perturbed. Something happen at the Academy?”</p><p>“Negative.”</p><p>“Something your friend Nyota said?”</p><p>Spock straightened. “Certainly not.”</p><p>Jim smiled a little. “What then?”</p><p>“There was a-a ruckus at the store.”</p><p>Jim blinked. “A ruckus?”</p><p>“A bit of a melee.”</p><p>“That almost sounds worse than a ruckus.” Jim stepped forward and surveyed him. “You don’t appear to be injured.”</p><p>“I am not. Of course.”</p><p>Jim raised both eyebrows. “Of course.”</p><p>“Those same cadets were at the store. The ones who attacked your person and made cruel remarks about you.”</p><p>“They didn’t hurt you or say something stupid to you, did they?”</p><p>“No. And yes.”</p><p>Jim nodded and moved closer to Spock and to his pleased surprise, Spock drew him closer still and put his hands on Jim’s hips. “What happened?”</p><p>“There was a mess on aisle nine.” Spock said, cryptically.</p><p>“Spock…”</p><p>“You do not need to worry about it or them, ashaya. They will not come near you again.”</p><p>Spock had used that word a time or two for Jim since they’d been…well whatever they’d been. Though they’d kissed, both the human way and the Vulcan way, and held each other, they’d done nothing else so far except sleep beside each other in Spock’s bed. Most of the time waking up wrapped around each other and the kitten.</p><p>Jim figured Spock was being careful due to his pregnancy, but everything he’d read up on it seemed to indicate intimacy was not an issue at his stage of pregnancy. When they returned to see Doctor McCoy, Jim figured he’d bring it up to be sure, to ease Spock’s mind, likely.</p><p>But whatever the word he kept saying meant. Jim figured it was an endearment because he always said it softly and with affection. He ought to look it up and learn Vulcan he guessed. More than he knew now at any rate. If he and Spock had a future—</p><p>“Jim?”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“You seemed very far away. Where did you go?”</p><p>“Just in my head.” He smiled reassuringly. “For a second. Nothing to worry about. But listen, I don’t want you getting into fights over me.”</p><p>“It was not a fight.”</p><p>“Okay, a ruckus or a melee then.”</p><p>Spock’s lips turned upward just slightly. “Believe me you are more than worth it and I do not intend to let you be bullied, harassed, or abused by anyone.”</p><p>Jim sighed, started to argue, but then remembered Spock didn’t like him arguing about <em>everything</em> and honestly, if Spock wanted to pose a few threats at the likes of Hendorff and his cronies, well, good.   </p><p>“You got too much stuff,” Jim said, instead, glancing over at the purchases Spock made.</p><p>Spock shrugged. “We will not have to go to the store again for a while. Definitely not until after my parents arrive.”</p><p>Jim winced. “Er yeah. Um, about that.”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Most parents don’t like me when they meet me and…”</p><p>“How many parents have you met?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Did you meet Aaron’s parents?” Spock pointedly.</p><p>“Well, no. He didn’t have any.”</p><p>“Then you haven’t met any parents to judge. Have you?”</p><p>Jim laughed. “Okay now you’re totally using logic on me.”</p><p>Spock arched a brow. “That is what I do.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Jim took a chance, leaned in and kissed Spock on the mouth. Spock eagerly returned the kiss and Jim sighed into it, deepening it.</p><p>“My parents will like you, ashaya,” Spock murmured against his lips. Then he kissed the corner of Jim’s mouth and pulled back. “My mother will anyway.”</p><p>“And not your father?”</p><p>Spock shrugged a little. “I am not sure my father likes <em>me</em>.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock discovered Jim had a lot of nervous energy. Which, unfortunately, ended up making Spock feel a little…agitated.</p>
<p>Spock considered himself calm and mellow most of the time. He’d spent a lot of time perfecting his logical Vulcan side, meditating away, when he could, his tendency to react to certain things with his Human side.</p>
<p>Like when the Vulcan Council had spoken of his <em>disadvantage</em>.  </p>
<p>He had reacted with Human anger.</p>
<p>Which he’d also reacted with when dealing with Jim’s bullies. In all honesty, Spock thought he’d shown great restraint not to have pummeled them all to the point they could not get up again.</p>
<p>He and Jim had fallen into something of a routine though. A good one. And he was reluctant to have it messed up with the arrival of his parents. But eventually they’d have to meet Jim, anyway, Mother would insist, so now was as good a time as any.</p>
<p>But because Jim was jittery on the way to meet Spock’s parents for lunch at their hotel, so was Spock. It did not feel good and it left him dreading the entire meeting.</p>
<p>“Uh. You okay?”</p>
<p>He glanced at Jim as he walked by his side. Jim was giving him a funny look.</p>
<p>“I am well.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? Cause you’re uh kind of moving like a statue. Pretty stiff and tense. We don’t have to do this, you know.”</p>
<p>“We do. We are expected.”</p>
<p>“Well, okay, I mean I don’t have to. If you’d rather just meet them without me.”</p>
<p>Spock’s steps faltered then, and he stopped just a few steps shy of entering the hotel where his parents were staying.</p>
<p>“You do not want to accompany me?”</p>
<p>Jim shook his head. “No, Spock. That’s not it. I just don’t want to make anything hard for you.”</p>
<p>“The only thing that will make it difficult is if I do not have your support,” Spock stated, simply.</p>
<p>“You do. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise.” Jim sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m mucking this up.”</p>
<p>Spock exhaled and put his hand on Jim’s arm. “Let’s just go and meet my parents.”</p>
<p>“All right.”</p>
<p>But Jim did not look happy and Spock was beginning to think he was on his way to messing up another relationship. His track record was not good, as Nyota had implied. He had started to think things were going to be different with Jim.</p>
<p>“Hey, don’t do that.”</p>
<p>Spock’s gaze snapped back to Jim. “Do what?”</p>
<p>“You’re on the verge of shutting down on me. Shutting me out. And I don’t…look the truth is, Spock, I’m really really nervous.”</p>
<p>“I am nervous too.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Jim laughed. “That’s kind of cool, actually.”</p>
<p>“It is?”</p>
<p>“Sure. We can be nervous and awkward together, right?”</p>
<p>Spock nodded. “Yes.”</p>
<p>But he had to admit he did feel just a bit better and so they walked through the automatic doors and into the hotel.</p>
<p>The hotel restaurant was just to the left of the lobby and so Spock turned them in that direction.</p>
<p>Spock was from a punctual family and so he was not surprised to see that his mother was already waiting.</p>
<p>She wore a dress that reached down to her ankles with little ankle boots, but she had forgone her usual headscarf and left her dark hair bare, though pulled into a tie to the back of her head.</p>
<p>And she was alone.</p>
<p>There was no sign of his father and Spock knew exactly what that meant. No, Sarek had not refused to meet Jim, he simply did not want to see Spock.</p>
<p>He didn’t know whether to feel relief or shame over the continuing rift between himself and his father, but with his fingers on Jim’s elbow, he brought Jim forward to meet his mother.</p>
<p>“Mother, this is Jim Kirk. Jim, this is my mother, Amanda Grayson.”</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>Shortly after they’d been seated at a table, Jim had excused himself to use the restroom.</p>
<p>“He’s such a sweetheart, Spock. I’m so glad you’re helping him. He’s very special to you, isn’t he?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Mother…”</p>
<p>She shook her head. “I know what you’re going to ask and I’m afraid your father is as idiotic as ever.”</p>
<p>Spock was surprised at her words and said so.</p>
<p>Mother waved this away. “He still hasn’t gotten over your defiance with the Vulcan Council and your leaving to join Starfleet.”</p>
<p>“Defiance they deserved,” Spock insisted.</p>
<p>She smiled. “And your refusal to be remorseful over it is one of the reasons Sarek is still sore.”</p>
<p>“Do you think I should be remorseful?”</p>
<p>“You spoke your mind with strength and integrity. I find no fault there. I raised my son to be an independent thinker.”</p>
<p>“But also to be Vulcan and strive for their teachings.”</p>
<p>“Are you arguing in favor or against yourself?”</p>
<p>Spock shook his head. “Neither. Father believes my defiance was an emotional outburst unbefitting a Vulcan.”</p>
<p>“Sarek will be the way he is, I believe, until the day he dies, even if I do not live to see it.”</p>
<p>“Do not speak of such things.”</p>
<p>“Human mates do not live as long as their Vulcan spouses, Spock. There is no kind way to state that other than what it is.” She smiled and looked past him. “And here is your Jim. How are you feeling, Jim?”</p>
<p>Jim lowered himself into the chair beside Spock, who felt calmer for it and Spock did not know why.</p>
<p>“I feel pretty good now. I was barfing like crazy a little bit ago.”</p>
<p>“Here in the bathroom?” she exclaimed.</p>
<p>“Oh. No, no. I mean a few weeks ago.” Jim laughed. “Now I just have to pee all the time.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I know how that is. Do you know what you’re going to have?”</p>
<p>“Not yet. Next time I go to the doctor, we’ll find out.”</p>
<p>“I can’t wait to hear. And your family?”</p>
<p>“Mother.”</p>
<p>Jim patted Spock’s hand. “It’s all right. You probably know about my dad. My mom is on the Excelsior. She doesn’t know about my pregnancy yet, though I’ve tried to reach her. She’s still out of range. My brother disappeared and my stepfather died. So it’s just my mom. Aaron was an orphan. His biological parents disappeared on the planet, Triacus. No one knows what happened to the science team they were on except that they all died. He was adopted and abandoned a few times, but at the end, no one really claimed him anymore.”</p>
<p>“I’m very sorry for your loss, Jim,” Mother said.</p>
<p>“Thank you. But I guess I’m actually really lucky.” Jim smiled at Spock. “Because I met Spock.”</p>
<p>Mother gave both Spock and Jim a bright smile. “What shall we order?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you feeling better now?”</p>
<p>Spock’s mom had Jim’s arm as they sat down on a bench in the park not far from the hotel where she and Spock’s father were staying.</p>
<p>Jim felt a little bad that he had cut their breakfast a little short, but he had started feeling queasy and needed some air. Amanda had taken him outside while Spock dealt with the remains of their breakfast. And the task of securing a certain kind of tea his mother requested he find for her.</p>
<p>“Much, thanks.” Jim sighed. “I’m so sorry. I really thought I was over this.”</p>
<p>She patted his hand. “Oh, sweetie, don’t worry. I’ve had some experience with difficult pregnancies.”</p>
<p>Jim glanced at her and smiled, though it was strained. “Spock was difficult?”</p>
<p>“Oh, certainly. But prior to Spock I had two miscarriages, so when Spock came and I withstood the pregnancy, any difficulties seemed small you see. And now I have my wonderful son.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”</p>
<p>“Of course you didn’t. You weren’t expected to know. Please stop apologizing, Jim. I made peace with those miscarriages long ago and as I said, I have Spock now.”</p>
<p>“He is pretty wonderful.”</p>
<p>Amanda took his hand. “He’s quite enamored of you.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? I mean I guess I know he likes me a lot as he told me. It’s just…” He blew out a breath, then shook his head. “Nothing.”</p>
<p>“You fear that most of his affection is directed toward the child you're carrying,” Amanda guessed.</p>
<p>“Well.” Jim winced. “And I know that sounds just terrible. I wouldn’t even have…Spock only noticed me at all because of the baby.” He found himself putting his hands protectively over his growing stomach.</p>
<p>“Hmm. Perhaps and there’s nothing really wrong with that,” she said. “You only became fond of him because of his need to protect and care for you, is that not the case?”</p>
<p>Jim nodded. “Yeah, you have a point.”</p>
<p>“Whatever brings couples together, initially, whether meeting at a bar or at an Ambassadorial banquet as I did Sarek, must still be built on to forge lasting relationships. Just because Spock first met you due to your pregnancy, it does not mean that is all there is to his affection.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just that…”</p>
<p>“You’re unused to being a priority in anyone’s life.” Amanda nodded. “I understand. Spock has relayed to me some of your difficulties. And I am sorry for the loss of your child’s other parent.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. But I’ve made peace with that too. Honestly, being with Aaron was a mistake on my part, probably one of many.” Jim sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t want to dwell on all that now. If staying with Spock has taught me anything, constantly dwelling on negative energy isn’t wise.”</p>
<p>“And I absolutely agree with that.”</p>
<p>“The thing is, though, I am still dwelling on some things.”</p>
<p>“Such as?”</p>
<p>Jim bit his lip. “It sounds selfish.”</p>
<p>“I’m certain it isn’t, but even still, everyone is selfish now and then. What is bothering you?”</p>
<p>Jim was enjoying the light breeze that had come up and fanned against his face. It was definitely helping him feel less sick. He was also feeling good about talking to Spock’s mom, but it also made him realize just how much he missed his own. Amanda was great, and Spock was lucky to have her, and Jim was fortunate she was so sweet to him also. But he still missed his own mother. There’d been times when the only one they’d had was each other.</p>
<p>“My lost opportunity as far as my Starfleet career,” Jim admitted. “I wanted to be a starship captain. That was my dream for so long growing up, thinking about my dad, and all that. And sure there are other options for me, planetside, but those aren’t in space, up there with the stars.”</p>
<p>“That is a conundrum of sorts. I do know there are starship captains who have children, though. Right?”</p>
<p>“Sure, but they leave their kids behind to be cared for by someone else.”</p>
<p>She watched his face. “Like happened to you?”</p>
<p>He laughed without mirth. “No. I mean, sure, I was left to someone other than my parents for a lot of the time. My dad died, it happens. I wouldn’t have expected Mom to give up her whole career to take care of me and Sam, especially when she thought she was providing a good, stable guy to take care of us.”</p>
<p>“But he wasn’t,” Amanda said. She patted his hand again. “As I said, Spock has told me a few things. Your mom did think she was doing as best she could.”</p>
<p>“I know and Mom and I have long since made everything right between us. But that’s not what I want for my child. If I could take that child onto a ship with me, that would be different but…I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“There are other ways to command, Jim. Perhaps the head of a space station or something like that. And I’m guessing you have a few years left of the Academy, yes?”</p>
<p>“Yep.”</p>
<p>“Things will work out however they are meant to be. Sometimes we don’t get to achieve every wish or dream we think of, sadly. But usually, life replaces that dream with something else that, if not better or as good, it will do.”</p>
<p>He eyed her. “Sounds like you are speaking from experience again.”</p>
<p>“And I am. I wouldn’t trade my life with Sarek and Spock for anything now. But once, yes, there were other things, other wants I dreamed of that didn’t happen for me.”</p>
<p>A noise nearby alerted them to the fact Spock approached, carrying a couple of bags, Jim presumed from their leftover breakfasts, and Amanda’s tea.</p>
<p>“Oh, he’s looking very anxious,” Amanda whispered, rather conspiratorially. “He’s been parted from you for much too long, Jim.”</p>
<p>Jim laughed, thinking she was teasing, but he had to admit, Spock did look a bit anxious.</p>
<p>“Everything all right, dear?” Amanda asked as she rose from the bench.</p>
<p>“Yes.” Spock handed her one of the bags. “Your tea.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>Spock stepped over to Jim and helped him to rise. “You are well? Your color does look better.”</p>
<p>“I’m fine.” Jim gave him a reassuring smile. “Your Mom and I had a nice talk.”</p>
<p>Spock nodded. “I have your breakfast leftovers.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, sorry about that. I’m kind of hungry now.”</p>
<p>Amanda chuckled. “Come, why don’t we go up to my hotel room. We can all visit and have tea, and you, Jim, can finish your breakfast.”</p>
<p>Spock took Jim’s arm.</p>
<p>“I can walk okay,” Jim told hm.</p>
<p>“I know.” But Spock did not release Jim’s arm, and Jim stopped trying to fight it, as they made their way back to the hotel.     </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock knew his friend, Nyota, meant well and had his best interests at heart, but it still annoyed him when she reacted badly to his announcement to her that he couldn’t make lunch as he was accompanying Jim to his next pregnancy appointment.</p>
<p>“You know, you don’t actually have any responsibility for Jim Kirk,” Nyota snapped.</p>
<p>“I have taken responsibility.”</p>
<p>She sighed. “I know. I just mean…Spock, you aren’t even the baby’s parent. And you’re changing your whole life for him and that baby.”</p>
<p>“There is more to being a parent than biological connection, Nyota,” Spock said, curtly.</p>
<p>“I know that too. This isn’t coming out right.”</p>
<p>“That is a certainty.”</p>
<p>Nyota crossed her arms and pursed her lips. They were standing in the quad at Starfleet Academy, where she had stopped him to invite him for lunch, expressing that they hadn’t really had a chance to connect for some time.</p>
<p>“Kirk has a certain…reputation, Spock. And I don’t want you to get hurt.” She paused. “Again.”</p>
<p>“Reputations are often false.”</p>
<p>“Sure. And often earned. I don’t know what the case is with Kirk, Spock, honestly, and I am not trying to be a bitch to him. I just…you’re really going heart first into this, and I worry. If Kirk decides he doesn’t want you in his life after all, you aren’t only going to lose him, but whatever connection you’ve formed to his unborn child. And I know you have. And as much as you like to speak of logic dictating your life, you feel very deeply.”</p>
<p>“And what precisely do you expect me to do at this point?” Spock asked. “Tell him, never mind?”</p>
<p>She blew out a breath. “No. And I can see I’ve made you mad. I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”</p>
<p>“I am not angry. And I realize your intention is to prevent me from being hurt, but I don’t believe Jim will hurt me, and at this point, it is rather too late. I am fully invested.”</p>
<p>Nyota sighed and then smiled. “I can see that. Just…don’t forget you have other people who care about you and want to spend time with you. Okay?”</p>
<p>“Very well. As for lunch, how about tomorrow?”</p>
<p>“That’s perfect. Good. Thank you.”</p>
<p>Spock departed the campus then, still rather annoyed on both his and Jim’s behalf. He was meeting Jim at Doctor McCoy’s office, so he went straight there.</p>
<p>Jim was waiting for him outside the office, smiling brightly, and Spock instantly felt better about everything. He was a little annoyed with himself that he had let Nyota sour his mood.</p>
<p>Jim’s gaze searched his. “Everything okay?”</p>
<p>“Yes, everything is. Shall we go in?”</p>
<p>They stepped into the medical office building and into the corridor that would take them to the bank of elevators.</p>
<p>Since meeting with his mother, he and Jim had grown closer still. Perhaps he had neglected his friendships with others, but Spock preferred to spend time with Jim and Tabitha, who had already grown so much. He was greatly looking forward to the expansion of their family. And that made his steps falter as he considered Nyota’s words.</p>
<p>Jim looked at him. “You sure you’re okay?”</p>
<p>“Yes. I…Jim.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>Spock shook his head. “Never mind.”</p>
<p>“There is something. What?” Jim drew Spock over to the side of the corridor, away from the elevators, to allow them privacy.</p>
<p>“I do not wish to admit that I have allowed others to infect my mind with doubts,” Spock said.</p>
<p>Jim frowned. He put his hands on Spock’s arms and somehow even that soothed him. “About us? About me?”</p>
<p>Spock nodded. “Yes and it is foolish. My regard for you has not changed except to increase.”</p>
<p>“And you think mine hasn’t? Spock, I know you probably have plenty of people telling you that I only want what you can give me, but the truth is, what you give me the most is your care, kindness and love. That’s worth more to me than anything else.”</p>
<p>Spock moved closer, aware on some level they were in a public building on display for anyone to see, but not entirely caring. He put his hand to Jim’s face.    </p>
<p>“You have all of that and more, ashayam. Life has become…something…with you in my life. Before, I went through the motions, but there was no real joy, and though it is illogical for a Vulcan to say this, it is true.”</p>
<p>Jim smiled. “I’m not a Vulcan, so you can say that to me all you want, and I promise I’ll keep it secret from all other Vulcans.”</p>
<p>Spock’s lips twitched. “Thank you. Now, your appointment.”</p>
<p>“Yes. We should be able to find out the gender of the baby today.”</p>
<p>Spock looked forward to that greatly, though he personally had no preference. Either a boy or a girl, the child would be Jim’s and Spock would cherish them.</p>
<p>Doctor McCoy was waiting for them and he welcomed Jim warmly, Spock a little less so.</p>
<p>“Spock staying for the sonogram?”</p>
<p>Jim smiled. “Yep. We’re, you know, together.”</p>
<p>“Ah. So no longer just a friend.”</p>
<p>“Right,” Jim agreed.</p>
<p>McCoy nodded and got started with the exam and ultrasound. </p>
<p>After a while, McCoy smiled. “Everything sounds good. Hear the heartbeat?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Jim whispered.</p>
<p>“Still want to know the baby’s gender?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Please. Thanks, Leonard.”</p>
<p>“Looks like you’re having a healthy, precious girl.”</p>
<p>Spock watched as Jim teared up.</p>
<p>“A girl. Wow. That’s…”</p>
<p>“Are you unhappy, Jim?” Spock asked.</p>
<p>“No. Overwhelmed. Crazy emotional. I-I’m not sure how to take care of a little girl.”</p>
<p>“We will figure it out together,” Spock assured him.</p>
<p>“Of course you will. There are courses too. And all kinds of reading material. You’ll get this, Jim,” McCoy said. “Just a few more things to do and then we’ll send you on your way with your sonogram picture.”</p>
<p>Spock squeezed Jim’s hand.</p>
<p>A little girl. He could see her now in his mind. Blue eyes like Jim’s. Stealing the hearts of a couple of men who would love her forever.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few months later</p><p> </p><p>Jim stared at his swollen stomach with something close to dismay. Not that it looked any different, really, than it had for the last several days, but he was just slightly overdue now and he was ready for his little girl to make her appearance in their world.</p><p><em>Their</em> world being him and Spock’s.</p><p>They had just moved in to a new apartment, closer to the Academy and with an extra room they could make into a nursery for…well there was that issue too. They were torn between the names Emily and Serena. Spock preferred Emily and Jim Serena. He didn’t even know why, he just did.</p><p>He knew he could insist on Serena and Spock would accept it, but Jim didn’t want to be <em>that</em> guy, so he had decided when she arrived, he would look at her and figure out which name she should have. He’d told that to Spock who had replied that was logical.</p><p>There was a knock on the door so Jim slowly made his way over to it to answer.</p><p>Standing there was Spock’s friend, Nyota Uhura. She’d helped them move, actually. And though Jim wasn’t sure either of them were big fans of each other, it was getting better.</p><p>She was carrying a big bunch of gift bags.</p><p>“Oh hey!” She smiled. “Presents for the baby.”</p><p>“From who?” Jim asked as he moved aside to let her in.</p><p>“Me, silly. Diapers and clothes and wipes, oh and one of those mobiles you hang over the crib. It has starships, isn’t that cute?”</p><p>“Uh. Sure.”</p><p>Uhura put all the bags on the sofa. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you come to the door. I thought Spock would be home.”</p><p>Jim nodded. “It’s okay. He went out to get some mashed potatoes down at the deli on the corner. I was craving theirs and he offered to go.”</p><p>“You want me to help you sit down?”</p><p>“Nah, for now I want to remain upright.” He eyed the gifts. “I’ll wait for Spock for those, if you don’t mind.”</p><p>“Sure.” She smiled. “Can I get you anything?”</p><p>“No, thank you, though.”</p><p>After a moment, she sighed. “Listen, I know the two of us didn’t get off on the right foot.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Jim said with a slight smile. “You thought I was an asshole taking advantage of Spock’s generosity.”</p><p>“I did yes,” Uhura admitted. “But I haven’t really thought that for months. And Spock is absolutely crazy about you. I was just concerned he would love you and the baby and then…”</p><p>“I’d say, thanks for the memories and take off.”</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>“Believe it or not, I get it. I don’t like it, but I understand where you were coming from.  I probably would have thought something similar had I been in your situation. But for the record, I’m just as crazy about Spock.”</p><p>“I know. I believe you,” she assured him. “And I’m really happy for both of you.”</p><p>The door to the apartment opened then and Spock entered carrying several takeout containers. He spotted Uhura immediately.</p><p>“Nyota, what an unexpected surprise,” Spock greeted her. “Will you be joining us for dinner?’</p><p>“I just brought some things over for you guys and the baby. I’m not staying.” She went over and helped Spock with the containers, carrying them and setting them down on the table. “I’m going now, but please let me know when she’s born. I can’t wait to meet her.”</p><p>Spock walked with her to the door and spoke to her in a low voice that Jim couldn’t hear, and then she was gone.</p><p>Jim made himself busy opening the containers of mashed potatoes and then a separate one of gravy. His mouth was already watering.</p><p>“I acquired two big containers of each,” Spock explained.</p><p>“Thanks, babe. She left the gifts on the couch, if you want to see.”</p><p>Spock inclined his head. “In a moment. How are you feeling, ashayam?”</p><p>Spock helped lower Jim into a chair in front of the mashed potatoes. He brought over a plate for Jim to dish them out on.</p><p>“Pretty uncomfortable. I have to pee every five minutes and she keeps moving around, kicking me. I’m pretty sure she’s as anxious to come into this world as I am to have her here.”</p><p>Spock took the chair beside Jim. “As we are.”</p><p>Jim smiled. “Yeah. Did you get yourself something to eat?”</p><p>Spock nodded and pulled over a container. “Vegetable soup.”</p><p>Jim made a face. “Yuck.” Then he laughed.</p><p>“I certainly hope that she will not inherit your disdain for vegetables,” Spock replied, amused.</p><p>Jim laughed again. “You’ll have to help with that then.”</p><p>“Indeed.”</p><p>They ate in silence for a while and then Jim became aware that Spock was watching him rather intently.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Spock took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled. “I know it is the practice of Humans to get on bended knee, but I would rather not, if that is acceptable.”</p><p>Jim’s mouth dropped open. “Huh?”</p><p>“James Kirk, I love you beyond words and I love the child you carry as though she were my own. I would be very honored if you would grant me the privilege of being your husband and other father to your child.”</p><p>Jim blinked several times, feeling the tears form in his eyes. A lump formed in his throat and his heart was just about to burst with love.</p><p>“Spock, of course I’ll…ouch. Ouch. Damn.” Jim grabbed his stomach.</p><p>“Jim?”</p><p>“Spock, I think she’s coming.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spock paced back and forth across the hospital corridor, in front of the delivery area. He had been made to leave. His stomach was in knots, his heart racing so quickly it was a wonder he had not gone into cardiac arrest.</p><p>“Spock! What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be in the room with Jim?”</p><p>Of all the voices he could hear just then, this was the most welcome.</p><p>“Mother.”</p><p>She threw her arms around him. “I got your message that Jim was going into labor. I thought you’d be with him.”</p><p>Spock pulled back. “Yes. Yes, I was. But…there was an issue. Jim began to-to have complications. It became chaotic in the delivery room and they pushed me out, telling me they could not have me there.”     </p><p>“Oh dear. Well, I’m certain everything will be fine with Jim and the baby.” Mother smiled reassuringly.</p><p>“I do not know,” Spock admitted. “I…I had asked him to be my husband and mate just before.”</p><p>“That’s wonderful, Spock.”</p><p>“He had not been able to answer before he went into labor. Perhaps I-I somehow caused this.”</p><p>“What? How?”</p><p>Spock shook his head. “I do not…I do not believe in jinxing things normally, but at present I find it rather difficult to maintain logical thinking.”</p><p>“Oh, Spock.” She took his hand and led him over to a row of seats and pulled him down to sit with her. “You have to have faith.”</p><p>Spock gave her a look.</p><p>Mother laughed. “I know, a very strange concept for Vulcans, but for Humans it isn’t. Faith takes many forms, Spock. Even if you don’t believe in a deity, you must have faith in Jim that he can get through this.  He is a very strong young man both physically and emotionally. He can get through this and so can you.”</p><p>Just then the door of the delivery area opened. Spock stood up, anxiously.</p><p>Doctor McCoy appeared. He gave Mother a curious look.</p><p>“This is my mother, Amanda Grayson,” he said automatically. “Jim--”</p><p>“Pleased to meet you, Ma’am. I’m Leonard McCoy, Jim’s doctor.” He turned back to Spock. “Everything’s fine, Spock.  Jim was losing a lot of blood and we had to give him a transfusion, but he’s going to be okay. The baby is completely healthy. You can go in and see them both. They’re waiting.”</p><p>Spock looked at his mother.</p><p>“See? Go on in. I’ll be out here.”</p><p>Spock followed Doctor McCoy into the room.</p><p>Jim was sitting up in a bed, looking pale but perfect and in his arms was a tiny baby swaddled in a pink blanket with a little pink cap on her head.</p><p>Spock walked in a daze to the side of the bed.</p><p>“Hey.” Jim smiled at him. “Look what I did.”</p><p>Spock stared at her. “She is beautiful.”</p><p>“Want to hold her?”</p><p>“May I?”</p><p>Jim’s smile widened. “Of course. You’re going to be her other parent, right? I mean you did ask me to marry you. Here.”</p><p>Jim handed Spock the tiny Human girl with extreme caution.</p><p>“Not that way. You have to support her head. There you go. That’s better.”</p><p>Spock swallowed heavily. “I do not think I have ever seen any being more beautiful.” His gaze rose to Jim. “Except perhaps her father.”</p><p>“No need for flattery, babe. I already said yes.”</p><p>“In actuality you said ‘of course I’ll’ and then an exclamation of pain.”</p><p>“Right. The ‘of course’ says it all don’t you think?”</p><p>Spock handed the precious girl back to Jim. He then sat on the bed very close to them both.</p><p>“Serena or Emily?”</p><p>“She looks more like an Emily to me.”</p><p>“Are you certain, Jim? You did state before that your preference was Serena.” Spock shook his head. “I defer to your judgment.”</p><p>“Nah, Emily’s good.” Jim looked over at Doctor McCoy who had come back into the room. “Well?”</p><p>McCoy nodded. “Yep. I found someone right here in the hospital to marry you two lovebirds. They’re on their way.”</p><p>“Jim?” Spock asked, surprised.</p><p>For a moment Jim looked anxious. “It’s not cause I think you’ll change your mind if I don’t get you fast.” He laughed, nervously.</p><p>“I will not <em>change my mind</em>. But you do not wish a large ceremony attended by many friends?”</p><p>Jim shook his head. “No. I don’t have that many friends. My mom’s off planet. I don’t really have anyone else but you and Emily and Bones here.”</p><p>McCoy rolled his eyes. “Bones.”</p><p>Spock hesitated. “My mother is here at the moment, so she could be here.”</p><p>Jim grinned. “That’s great! See, Spock? It’s absolutely perfect. I don’t want to spend even one more hour without you as my husband.”</p><p>Warmth flowed through Spock at Jim’s words. He was very much in danger of having a very emotional, illogical reaction.</p><p>“I will bring in my mother.”</p><p>He touched his fingers to Jim’s and then touched them to Emily’s forehead.</p><p>“I shall return in a moment,” Spock promised, and then exited the room to get things ready for his wedding to Jim.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The longer it took for Spock to return to his hospital room, the more anxious Jim became. Had Spock changed his mind? Saw illogical human, Jim, and his illogical human baby girl, and ran for the hills?</p><p>Jim wasn’t even sure he could blame Spock if that had been the case. Since day one, Jim had been pretty much trouble for Spock. Showing up in Spock’s life broken-hearted, pregnant, and homeless. And of course, Spock’s own friends had been doubtful of Jim’s presence in his life.</p><p>Jim stared down at his baby girl. “He did say he wouldn’t change his mind.”</p><p>But Vulcans were logical and reserved emotionally. Right? Spock hadn’t really been that way. Not with Jim, but…</p><p>When the door to his hospital room opened, Jim looked up, trying to keep the hopeful look toned down a degree. But it was only Doctor McCoy. Bones.</p><p>“How are you two doing?” Bones asked. “Still all right?”</p><p>“Yes. Um. Did you happen to see my Vulcan out there somewhere?”</p><p>Bones smiled. “I did. He’s about ready to come in with his mother. They were getting some things set up.”</p><p>Jim didn’t bother to hide his relief. “Thanks.”</p><p>“Can I get you something to eat or—”</p><p>The door opened again and in walked Spock, followed by Amanda. And a strange Tellarite, that presumably would officiate the ceremony.</p><p>“Hi everyone.” Jim looked at Spock. “Um. Can you all give us a couple of minutes alone?”</p><p>It was Bones that shuffled everyone out.</p><p>“Jim?” Spock looked concerned. Though in Vulcan fashion he was trying not to look concerned.</p><p>Jim licked his lips, gazed down at his daughter, and then back at Spock. “I just want you to know that I respect you, that I’m not trying to make you something you aren’t capable of being, not more human than you want to be or anything like that. I love you for who and what you are, and I wouldn’t change a thing.”</p><p>“And I would change nothing also, Jim.” Spock paused. “Even that I am not biologically related to Emily, because then she would not be the same extraordinary little girl she is. And I am hopeful, that someday, we can create a sibling for her together.”</p><p>Jim felt warm and happy at Spock’s words. “I’d really love that too.” He laughed. “You know, some length of time from now of course.”</p><p>“Of course. And I would very much like you to consider establishing a Vulcan bond with me at some point.”</p><p>“I would like that too.”</p><p>Spock covered Jim’s hands that held Emily. “There is one more thing.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“I was able to contact your mother’s ship and she is in range. Though it will be only remotely, she will be able to witness our wedding. She is on standby and is eager to participate.”</p><p>Jim’s eyes filled with tears. “Yeah?”</p><p>Spock nodded. “If you are ready?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>****</p><p>It took a bit of time to get everything set up. They had to sign documents. Uhura came and helped Amanda put a few flowers in the room. And then Jim’s mom wanted to spend a little time cooing over her new granddaughter.</p><p>“Oh, my God, Jim, she’s just beautiful,” Winona said, tears streaming down her face. “She looks just like you did when I had you. I can’t wait to meet her. And hold her.”</p><p>“Soon, yeah?”</p><p>His mother nodded. “I hope so. I can’t believe my baby had a baby and is now getting married.”</p><p>“Crazy universe, huh?”</p><p>She laughed and wiped her face. “Sure is. All right. I’m ready.”</p><p>Amanda approached Jim then. She leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Can I hold Emily while you two get married?”</p><p>Jim grinned. “Sure can. After all she’s going to be your grandchild, too.”</p><p>Amanda scooped her up, her face lit with happiness and love. She stood nearby as did Uhura and Bones.</p><p>Spock held Jim’s hand as the Tellarite minister or whatever stood at the foot of the bed to perform the ceremony.</p><p>“My name is Gral. Any personal vows?” the official asked.</p><p>Jim shrugged. “Didn’t really have time to come up with anything.”</p><p>“Very well.”</p><p>Jim smiled at Spock. “Thank you for saving me. Us.”</p><p>“Perhaps we saved each other.”</p><p>“Well now. Those seem like personal vows to me,” Gral said with a nod.  “As an official representative of the United Federation of Planets, I declare James T. Kirk and S’chn T’gai Spock officially wed per the laws of the Federation.”</p><p>Jim blinked, grinned. “Does that mean he’s my husband?”</p><p>Gral chortled. “It does.”</p><p>“That calls for a kiss then.” Jim grabbed Spock and pulled him down until Spock’s lips found his. Spock kissed back quite eagerly.</p><p>He then patted the bed, scooting over so Spock could sit there, and then gestured for Amanda to hand Emily to Spock.</p><p>With Spock cradling their daughter, Jim leaned over to look at her.</p><p>“Perfect.”</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The future...</p><p>“Professor Kirk?”</p><p>Jim looked up from the book he was reading, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. “Yes, Cadet?”</p><p>The cadet, a male, squirmed uncomfortable now that he had Jim’s attention.  “Is it true when you were captain of the Enterprise you actually had your children on the ship with you?”</p><p>“He definitely did!”</p><p>Jim smiled at the young girl, woman really, with the long blonde pony-tail who came up the aisle toward them. “Em!”</p><p>“Hi Daddy.”</p><p>Emily stopped next to the cadet. She wore her ensign uniform, newly promoted, like a proud peacock. Science blue instead of Command gold, though.</p><p>She smiled at the blushing cadet. “My fathers had me and my brothers on the Enterprise. It was an incredibly educational and meaningful experience.”</p><p>“Uh. Thanks. Thanks, Ensign Kirk.” He turned back to Jim. “I’ll see you tomorrow, sir.”</p><p>“Sure thing.”</p><p>They both watched him leave, then his daughter turned to him with a frown.<br/>“Daddy, what are you still doing here?”</p><p>“Uh oh. Were you sent to fetch me?”</p><p>“Yep. Dad has dinner warming for you and the boys. He sent me when you ignored your messages.”</p><p>“Oops.” Jim glanced at his communication device and saw numerous messages from Spock. “I’m in trouble.”</p><p>“You sure are.” Emily came around the desk and peered at the book in front of him. “Not even a Starfleet text book. Dickens.”</p><p>“Well.” He shrugged. “I was grading tests, but I got bored.” He laughed. Rose from his chair. Grabbed up his PADD and the book and shoved them into his brief case. “I didn’t know you were coming for dinner.”</p><p>“The Excelsior ships out at the end of the week. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with my family.”</p><p>Jim sighed. “As if I had forgotten. I don’t want to think about it though. You’ll be on a ship without your family.”</p><p>“One of us had to do it.” She took his arm as they exited the classroom.</p><p>“I’m not some feeble old fool who needs to be helped from the room, you know.”</p><p>Emily laughed. “Hardly. As Uncle Bones would say you’re fit as a fiddle.”</p><p>Bones had been a part of their lives ever since Emily had been born, and Jim had even talked him into being his CMO later on the Enterprise. Really was one big happy family.</p><p>Their top floor apartment was just a couple of blocks from the Academy. Chosen for the location, location, location, as the realtors liked to say, and the spectacular view of the city from the floor to ceiling windows in the living room.</p><p>Jim, of course, still preferred their family living quarters on the Enterprise. Always would, he supposed. But life was made up of changes and everyone had to adapt to them, even Jim. And Spock.</p><p>Spock greeted them as soon as they approached the door, opening it wide and giving Jim one of his looks.</p><p>“Hiya, sweetheart.”</p><p>“Was it Dickens?” Spock directed this question to their daughter.</p><p>“How’d you know?”</p><p>“I gave him that book for his last birthday. Come inside.”</p><p>Emily kissed her Dad on the cheek and then moved into the apartment.</p><p>Spock took Jim’s hand, kissing him both in the Vulcan way and the human way. Neither way ever got old, no matter how many years passed between them.</p><p>Their sons, twin boys now quickly approaching fifteen, were seated at the dining room table. George barely looked up from his video game to give Jim a quick grin, and Satok, named after an uncle of Spock’s, put his own hardback book on the table in front of him, his rather elegant eyebrows, reminiscent of Spock’s own, arched.</p><p>“We’ve been waiting,” Satok said. “I’m hungry.”</p><p>Jim laughed and ruffled his hair, which he knew the boy found distasteful. “So sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t pay attention to them, Daddy, they haven’t stopped eating snacks since they got home from school.” Emily seated herself at the table and ignored Satok when he stuck his tongue out at her.</p><p>The twins just had the barest hint of point to their ears, but both had deep dark eyes like Spock. Emily had the bright blue of Jim’s eyes. Her biological father had blue eyes too.</p><p>“Need help?” Jim asked his husband.</p><p>“I do not. Sit at the table with the children.”</p><p>Jim couldn’t help but smile. They would always be <em>the children </em>to him and Spock. He supposed when they were well into their thirties or even older.</p><p>He took his seat at the end of the table, opposite where Spock would sit and looked in admiration at the beautiful kids he had created. He’d done his best with Spock’s help to keep them safe on the Enterprise. The crew had helped too. And they’d all made it through. With a few scares, yes.</p><p>They’d been an experiment and they’d fought hard for the children to stay with them. And even now there were those who did not agree with having children and family together on a starship.</p><p>But in every way, all of Jim’s dreams had come true. All because of Spock.</p><p>That day when Spock had come upon him having a particularly bad bout of morning sickness, when he’d just come to the realization he was about to be homeless and pregnant.</p><p>Spock really was his savior and it had taken Jim a long time to realize Spock was the real thing.</p><p>“Jim?”</p><p>Spock stood right next to him at the table, about to put his plate of food down in front of him. Some kind of mushroom risotto dish from the look of it. Jim smiled.</p><p>“This looks delicious.”</p><p>“Are you all right?”</p><p>“I’m fantastic. Just lost in memories, really.”</p><p>“Memories?” Spock murmured.</p><p>“Of how we met. How we got here. To be this incredible family. How lucky I really am.”</p><p>“While I do not believe in luck normally, ashayam, I believe that luck was with <em>me</em> when you found me,” Spock replied.</p><p>Jim laughed. “You found me, remember?”</p><p>“I remember quite well, Jim. Fate allowed you to find me.”</p><p>He shook his head, too content to argue with his husband, who now squeezed his hand, and then went down to his own seat at the dining room table.</p><p>“Put the game aside, George,” Spock reprimanded.</p><p>“Okay, Dad.”</p><p>“Well, now,” Jim said. “This will be one of the last dinners we’ll have as a family together for some time with Em leaving on the Excelsior soon. Let’s enjoy the time we have.”</p><p>“Oh, no,” George said under his breath. “He’s not going to start quoting Dickens again is he?”</p><p>Emily laughed.</p><p>“Hey now,” Jim protested. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”</p><p>Satok rolled his eyes.</p><p>Spock cleared his throat. “I think, perhaps, it was only the best of times.”</p><p>Jim smiled at him, from across the table, eyes shining. “Yeah. Yeah it was.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Though mpreg is not really my thing, it does crop up from time to time as it did here. I think they make amazing parents and I do like to show them with children when the situation arises.<br/>Thank you so much for going on this journey with them and me.</p><p>PS. Thanks to dreamsaremadeofthis for beta-ing this story for me!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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